Who are you?

Well, don’t just stand there, you nobody—move it.

I’d make eye contact with you.

You’re on the soccer team, which is one of the gay sports, but whatever; you don’t have acne or breathe out of your mouth, so feel free to look at me or nod, but not for more than three seconds.

Not even worth talking about.

So I won’t.

You’re my secret crush.

I know I’m mean to you sometimes, but I have liked you since seventh grade. Next time you see me, make sure to tell me how you feel. Do you like me back? Y/N.