1. 1. Choose a book:

    Interesting! That choice says a lot about you, but obviously not enough to indicate which college major you should choose. That’s a huge life choice way beyond the purview of a quiz that has a stupid question like ‘Choose a book’ and only gives you four answers to pick from. Just try and keep things in perspective, okay?

  2. 2. On a Tuesday night, you’re usually…

    Again, this quiz is intended to be a fun distraction. Nothing more. As long as you understand that, please proceed with this playful, completely speculative quiz.

  3. 3. Pick a city:

    All right, we just asked you to pick a city. Not even your favorite city. Just a city. Hope that makes it pretty clear what you’re dealing with here.

  4. 4. Where do you spend most of your time?

    Look, why don’t you just think about the subjects you enjoyed the most in high school? Maybe talk to someone you know that’s been to college, or maybe your parents? A lot of people go into school undeclared and then decide later on. That’s totally fine too. Bottom line, this should be an informed decision.

  5. 5. What’s your best skill?

    There isn’t any science here, okay? It’s all bullshit. We’ll tell you right now, there’s only four possible results: English, Math, Science, and History. That doesn’t even come close to covering the wide range of college majors offered at any college in America.

  6. 6. What’s your favorite weather?

    Here’s the thing with this question. The sunshine one is somehow tied to the result for “Science.” Overcast is “History.” Light drizzle is “English.” Snow is “Math.” Does that even make any sense?

    So please...please, for the love of God, do not factor in the essentially arbitrary result of this online quiz when choosing a college major. Jesus Christ, that would be so fucking insane!

  • Results for What Should Your College Major Be? But For Christ’s Sake, Don’t Use This Quiz To Make Any Actual Life Decisions

    You got English!

    You’re a total bookworm who loves getting into long debates about symbolism in novels. Does that mean you should declare an English major? Nope! This is an internet quiz and should have no bearing on your life decisions. You can feel free to share this quiz with your friends, but please make sure they know to take it with a grain of salt. We would feel just awful if they actually used it to choose a college major. God, that would be so terrible.

  • Results for What Should Your College Major Be? But For Christ’s Sake, Don’t Use This Quiz To Make Any Actual Life Decisions

    You got History!

    When it comes to the past, you’re totally obsessed. Sometimes you even think you should’ve been born in a different era. But you definitely shouldn’t use this result to determine what you study for the next several years. Can you imagine? It would probably ruin your life.

  • Results for What Should Your College Major Be? But For Christ’s Sake, Don’t Use This Quiz To Make Any Actual Life Decisions

    You got Math!

    Your best friend is a calculator. So guess what? You’re a math major. No, you’re not. This is an internet quiz, and it knows nothing about you. Maybe talk to your advisor and make a real decision based on real-life advice.

  • Results for What Should Your College Major Be? But For Christ’s Sake, Don’t Use This Quiz To Make Any Actual Life Decisions

    You got Science!

    You’re hyper-analytical and—let’s face it—a little bit of a nerd. So, you should study science, right? Who knows? Certainly not this quiz. Honestly, we don’t even know if you really are hyper-analytical or a nerd. This was a six-question quiz. Nothing more. Best of luck choosing your actual major based on anything but this result.
I am 18 or over and willing to view sexually explicit material