How Many Of Grandpa’s Stories Have You Heard? | ClickHole

1. How many of Grandpa’s stories have you heard?

The time he met your Grandma

The time he bought his first television

The time he built his house using his own two hands

The time he traded his wisdom teeth to a carpet salesman for an egg cream

The time he went to Ebbets Field and called Jackie Robinson fat

The time he stowed away on a Hells Angels’ motorcycle

The time he and his college buddies rode on Jim Thorpe’s back, all up and down the football field, from dawn until sunset

The time he met JFK at a cockfight and offered him a Cert

The time he found a gold bar while mowing the lawn but then a groundhog stole it

The time the guy working the Cyclone at Coney Island tried to sell him a dismembered finger with an engagement ring on it

The time he saw Groucho Marx and Chico Marx kissing

The time he got replaced by Charlie the Tuna as StarKist’s spokesman

The time he saw FDR speak and nailed him in the leg with a bar dart

The time he went into Sal Cassano’s barbershop in ’38 and six floating, disembodied hands worked together to give him the best haircut he ever got

The time he threw a perfect game for the Pittsburgh Rebels

The time he accidentally said “I love you” instead of “Think the Bears can pull off a win this Sunday?”

The time he walked a package from Nashville to Atlanta so as not to pay for postage

The time when we used to say “Merry Christmas” in this country

The time he made up his mind to outlive the Beatles

The time he went over Niagara Falls in an iron lung

The time of the great spider uprising

The time he drank out of a coloreds-only water fountain as a joke

The time he saw Tin Cup

The time he had to eat lunch with a Catholic

The time everybody except Grandpa was killed

Results for How Many Of Grandpa’s Stories Have You Heard?

Ouch!
You haven’t heard any of Grandpa’s stories! You should try talking to him sometime and hear about the time he was hit by seven cars or the time he chained himself to a light pole outside Hershey’s headquarters, refusing to leave until they introduced a full-size Krackel bar.

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Results for How Many Of Grandpa’s Stories Have You Heard?

Not bad
You’ve heard a fair amount of Grandpa’s stories, but not that many. You probably haven’t heard about the time he drank so much water he was given the key to the city of Cincinnati or the time he earned the nickname “The Lavender Elbow.”

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Results for How Many Of Grandpa’s Stories Have You Heard?

Pretty good
You’ve heard a good amount of Grandpa’s stories. Still, you should talk to him more to hear about the time he and Grandma ate too much spaghetti or the time he was in an elevator with Senator Joseph McCarthy and McCarthy was carrying a tin bucket of live crickets.

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Results for How Many Of Grandpa’s Stories Have You Heard?

Great!
Wow! You’ve heard just about all of Grandpa’s stories. You’ve heard about the time he stormed the beaches of Normandy in 1973, the time he stole the golden transcontinental railroad spike but put it back later without anyone noticing, and the time he invented Spider-Man by mailing Stan Lee a live tarantula.

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