1. 1. Hollywood is champing at the bit for the next sick flamingo to base a film on, and its only criteria is that the flamingo is sick as shit. What did your vet say about your flamingo the last time you had it in for a checkup?
  2. 2. If they make a movie about your flamingo, they’re going to digitally scan it so they can recreate it using CGI for the movie, and that CGI model better look really fucking sick. How sick does your flamingo look?
  3. 3. Thousands of starry-eyed flamingo owners show up in Hollywood every year hoping their flamingo is sick enough to make it big. Hollywood execs need to know that your flamingo is in serious discomfort the second they lay eyes on it. Which of these describes your flamingo’s outward anguish?
  4. 4. Hollywood legend Sick Louise is known the world over as the sickest flamingo ever to have her story told on the silver screen starting with 1997’s Sick Louise Goes From Bad To Worse and ending with 2017’s box-office flop Sick Louise Gets Better. Sadly, after Sick Louise became healthy, her career abruptly ended, which is why Hollywood is so eager to find another disturbingly sick flamingo. What does your flamingo bring to the table, in terms of sickness, that Sick Louise didn’t already?
  5. 5. Hollywood will only pay you big bucks for your flamingo’s story if its insides are truly rotten and fucked up. The best way to tell how awful your flamingo’s internal organs are is to examine its stool. Which one of these descriptions most accurately describes your flamingo’s shit?
  6. 6. If you want the major studios to get into an all-out bidding war over your flamingo’s story, they’re going to need to know that your flamingo’s eggs are having some major problems due to how sick that fucker is. What are its eggs like?
  7. 7. If Hollywood were to make a film about your flamingo, what would it be called?

  • Results for Is Your Flamingo Sick Enough To Make A Movie About?

    Sorry, But Your Flamingo Is Going To Need To Get Way Sicker If You Want It To Be Taken Seriously In The Movie Biz.

    Your flamingo is a beacon of health, which means it has no place on a Hollywood soundstage. You need to work hard to make sure that your flamingo is living in unsanitary conditions to get it sicker, so do everything you can to make it malnourished, and most importantly, expose it to plenty of rare flamingo diseases. Feel free to take this quiz again if the health of your flamingo seriously deteriorates.

  • Results for Is Your Flamingo Sick Enough To Make A Movie About?

    Let’s Be Straight Here: Your Flamingo Is Definitely Sick, But Not “Make A Movie About It” Sick.

    What it’s got going on would definitely play to a small-town crowd as a play or a public-access TV show or something, but it’s just not going to cut it in Tinseltown. You should see all the sick flamingos out there who can’t get a movie made about them. Flamingos sick like you wouldn’t believe. Talent agencies have whole binders full of flamingos they thought were sick enough but went nowhere that are way sicker than yours. It’s nothing personal, it’s just the reality of the business.

  • Results for Is Your Flamingo Sick Enough To Make A Movie About?

    You’ve Got Yourself Quite The Sick Flamingo There, And You Should Be Quite Pleased By That!

    Unfortunately, it’s not quite sick enough to have a movie made about it at this time. That doesn’t mean your flamingo isn’t sick enough to get a children’s book series written about it or maybe even its own off-Broadway show; it’s clearly very sick. It just means that you’ve still got some work to do in the sickness department before it’s ready for prime time. Still, you should be happy about what a sick little flamingo you’ve got there.

  • Results for Is Your Flamingo Sick Enough To Make A Movie About?

    Welcome To Hollywood, Baby! Your Flamingo Is Sick As Fuck, And There’s No Doubt It’s Going To Be The Next Big Thing.

    Movies, TV, book deals, duets with Fallon, Coke commercials…It’s time to roll that nearly lifeless bird into a cage and hit the road to Hollywood. But you’d better hurry, because it sounds like that thing could die any minute!
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