How Many Of These Ways Has Your Kid Fucked Up At ... | ClickHole

1. Check off all the ways your kid has really bungled it at T-ball:

Threw the ball toward the sun when the play was at first.

Raised their hand to ask the short stop if T-ball is technically a dance.

Refused to stop sitting on top of second base until the umpire agreed that he also recognized “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” as a song from church.

Made a compelling argument for why the opposing coach’s Indian restaurant deserved to fail.

Felt bad for the benches.

Swung at the ball using the leg of a dinner table because they “didn’t trust the bat.”

Had to have their fingernails band-aided up to stop them from digging so well.

Ran to third base after getting a hit instead of first so they could tell the third-base coach that wearing a batting helmet made him look like a giant, lonely kid.

Broke their own team’s second baseman’s arm because he “thought it would help them win.”

Became better friends with the umpire than the coach even though the coach introduced them.

Threw dirt in their own eyes to show the other team how red human eyes can get.

Warmed up by swinging three near-dead blue herons.

Got floaters in their eyes in the shape of the Soviet Union hammer and sickle.

Ran away from a pop fly coming toward them on a hunch that the ball would have a face this time around.

Got caught in a rundown between second base and the nearest Regal Cinema.

Didn’t wipe off the insane amount of fog on their rec specs because they loved it.

Laughed and clapped along with the opposing team’s jester.

Gambled away the money they’ll make for the next five teeth they lose on whether a bird was actually big or not.

Didn’t turn a possible double play from second base because they were distracted by a parent’s eye patch.

Took credit for the porta-potties near the field having sinks.

Kept “calling dibs” on T-ball.

Proudly poured a tub of Gatorade into their lap after getting back from the bathroom.

Yelled, “The coach thinks we haven’t noticed his limp, but we have,” when the team put their hands in and yelled “team” on three.

Threw the ball at the coach’s Chevy Malibu passenger door because they thought it was their cut-off man.

Hummed the FaceTime audio ringtone as their walk-up song.

Wore latex gloves underneath their batting gloves “to set an example.”

Let a grounder go right in between their lips and down their throat and into their gut.

Results for How Many Of These Ways Has Your Kid Fucked Up At T-Ball?

Your Kid Has Barely Fucked Up At All
Your kid seems to know their way around the T-ball field pretty well and is on the right track for a career that doesn’t bring too much embarrassment and dishonor to your family. Be sure to reward your kid with a nice meal, some clean shirts, and a medium-sized smile to let them know that you’re proud!

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Results for How Many Of These Ways Has Your Kid Fucked Up At T-Ball?

Your Kid Has Had Their Fair Share Of Fuckups
Your kid has fucked up in T-ball a good amount, but things could definitely be worse. It’d be in your best interest to pull them aside and ask them what their deal is, or maybe send them to a T-ball camp or something, but don’t worry too much. There’s still hope that they can figure it all out!

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Results for How Many Of These Ways Has Your Kid Fucked Up At T-Ball?

Your Kid Is A Grade-A T-Ball Fuckup
Your kid is a real nightmare on the field, no question about it. It goes without saying that they probably shouldn’t be playing T-ball anymore, but it’s your kid, so it’s really your call. If you can withstand the humiliation that they’re bringing to your family name, more power to you.

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