1. 1. Santa is extremely sensitive about his prostate problem, and he’s probably not going to want too many people to know about it. Would you tell anyone about Santa’s problem?
  2. 2. Santa’s prostate problem is now making his urine flow so erratic and uncontrollable that he’s going to have to pee inside every house he stops at on Christmas Eve. And unfortunately, if Santa’s incredibly powerful stream of piss rocketing against the toilet water doesn’t wake the entire family up, his thunderous groans of relief definitely will. How would you explain this to people the next morning?
  3. 3. Santa’s magic, which can be seen all over his village on the North Pole, is heavily influenced by his mental state. And because Santa has been thinking about his prostate problem a lot, instead of all the magical things in the village being Christmas-related, they’re all prostate-related now. So, instead of everything smelling like candy and chocolate, it all smells like piss and semen now. Instead of a “Naughty or Nice” list, Santa now has a “Healthy Prostate or Unhealthy Prostate” list. And unfortunately, instead of giant candy canes sticking out of the snow, it’s now just giant prostates sticking out of the snow. What would you say to a visiting kid who seems pretty freaked out by the village?
  4. 4. Honestly, Santa’s prostate is really bad, and he has no idea how to fix it. It would make a lot of sense for Santa to go to the doctor, but he really doesn’t want any humans knowing about this. At what point in seeing Santa try any one of these home remedies would you tell a doctor about Santa’s problem, simply out of concern for Santa’s safety?
  5. 5. If you heard all your friends talking about how cool it is that Santa’s prostate is nice and healthy, how would you join the conversation?
  6. 6. Santa’s workshop hasn’t been too efficient this year, because instead of making toys, Santa has forced all of his elves to read hundreds of textbooks so they can fashion their own antibiotics to cure Santa’s prostate. So this year, instead of presents, most kids are going to get informational textbooks about the prostate, because that’s all the elves have. How would you explain that to kids?
  7. 7. If people learn that Santa has a prostate problem from you, they’re going to think that Christmas is getting canceled and send hordes of doctors to the North Pole to stick their fingers straight into Santa’s ass, and Santa does not want that at all. How would you feel if you saw Santa getting held down by doctors shoving their hands into his ass?
  8. 8. Santa’s probably not having lots of sex with Mrs. Claus right now, so if anyone asks, you’re going to have to lie about how much sex he’s having. If you had to, how would you describe Santa’s sex life?

  • Results for Can You Be Trusted With Some Bad News About Santa’s Prostate?

    You Can Be Trusted With Some Bad News About Santa’s Prostate!

    You seem like you’re a pretty trustworthy person, and if Santa had some issues with his prostate, he would definitely feel okay telling you about it. You clearly not only feel bad about Santa’s medical problem, but you’re so reliable that you wouldn’t spill the beans about Santa’s prostate even if he was exacerbating the problem. Way to go!

  • Results for Can You Be Trusted With Some Bad News About Santa’s Prostate?

    You Cannot Be Trusted With Some Bad News About Santa’s Prostate!

    You’re a pretty untrustworthy person, and if Santa had some issues with his prostate, he would probably steer clear of telling you anything about it. Whether it’s because you wouldn’t want to see Santa further exacerbate his problem or because you just enjoy spreading the information about Santa’s prostate, you seem likely to go against your word to keep Santa’s prostate problem a secret from other humans at some point or another.
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