How Many Of These American Girl Dolls Did You Own? | ClickHole

1. Check off all the dolls you had growing up:

Maeve O’Halloran: A severely vitamin-deficient and toothless Irish immigrant who polishes wealthy bankers’ shoes with her gums to help her parents make ends meet during the Great Depression.

Suni: A brave young Native American girl from the Ojibwe tribe whose accessories have been forcibly seized and redistributed among the Caucasian American Girl dolls.

Frances Unker: A fearless and outgoing girl from the early 20th century who is singlehandedly responsible for giving FDR polio.

Ageless Becky: Spunky, optimistic, and fiercely loyal, Ageless Becky has always been, and always will be, 7.

Sophie Silberman: A Jewish one.

Neutral Sally: A completely average girl with no notable characteristics or interesting backstory, Neutral Sally serves primarily as a meek friend for other American Girl dolls to boss around.

Fe An Pel 19: An upbeat laborer in the 2170s, Fe An Pel 19 has big dreams of movie-star glamour despite being genetically engineered with extremely long arms and enormous eyes to harvest bioluminescent lichen from deep-sea wreckage.

Michelle Obamar: An 8-year-old African-American girl who dreams of becoming a lawyer someday and who, for legal purposes, has an “R” in her last name.

Grace Bartelsmeyer: Grace comes off as quiet at school, but she has a lot of pie-in-the-sky dreams about dry ice and its many applications.

Four-Hundred-Dollar Ashley: A shapeless slab of industrial plastic with the name “ASHLEY” scrawled on it that parents can pay $400 for.

Tabitha Cornwall: A curious little girl who is really, really into wells for some reason. It’s not a “cute” kind of interested-in-wells but rather a “Tabitha’s probably got a soft brain” kind of interested-in-wells.

Rosalita Jimenez: A feisty young Mexican girl who, a bit bafflingly, is always proudly celebrating Danish heritage by sporting wooden clogs and eating smoked eel.

Cynthia Winters: A 7-year-old North Dakotan who dreams of growing up to be a veterinarian and works toward this goal every day by cutting open animals and sticking her hands inside them.

Pepsi Nguyen: Pepsi constantly drinks Pepsi and cannot stop.

Sadie Ross: Sadie, a child of the 1950s, loves knitting hats for bugs, making her the first-ever American Girl doll designed exclusively for friendless dorks.

Tracey Pappas: A cute, bubbly child who, like most of her peers in the late 1800s, spends her days decimating herds of buffalo for no discernible reason and spends her nights attending funerals for siblings who died during birth.

Crow 13,004 B.C.: Born in the Mississippi River Basin in 13,004 B.C., Crow’s stories explore themes of loyalty, hard work, and hiding from dangerous megafauna.

Jenny Dresden: A spunky young lady who never met a horse she couldn’t ride, a stranger she couldn’t help, or a scrap of metal she couldn’t eat.

The Undertaker: A pale, somber introvert with a fixation on death who was later adapted into a popular WWE character of the same name.

Shirley Winslow: A 9-year-old redhead from Kansas whose face is frozen in a perpetual state of heartbroken devastation from having just been informed that her parents are getting divorced.

Samantha Dugan: A daughter of a Confederate general who, despite being born on the wrong side of history, has incredible hair and some truly kickass accessories.

Results for How Many Of These American Girl Dolls Did You Own?

Wow, You Had A Lot Of American Girl Dolls!
You had all the coolest and most coveted American Girl dolls, including the rare ones like Eva Clarke, the Arizona cowgirl obsessed with catching the chupacabra that was using her dad’s pickup truck as a bathroom. It’s fair to say that you had one lucky childhood. Kudos to your parents for spending so much money on you!

Share Your Results
Results for How Many Of These American Girl Dolls Did You Own?

You Had A Few American Girl Dolls.
Maybe your walls weren’t lined with dolls, but it seems like you at least had all the popular ones. Kudos to your parents for spending so much money on you!

Share Your Results
Results for How Many Of These American Girl Dolls Did You Own?

You Barely Had Any American Girl Dolls.
That’s too bad. By not having many American Girl dolls, you missed out on a lot of fun adventures. Your parents should’ve bought you more of them. That would’ve been the loving thing to do.

Share Your Results