1. 1. Okay, we’re going to start with a question about John Carter. There’ll be Harry Potter stuff later, but just bear with us for the time being. Which war did John Carter fight in?

    That’s incorrect! The correct answer is the Civil War.

    That’s incorrect! The correct answer is the Civil War.

    That’s incorrect! The correct answer is the Civil War.

    That’s right! Good work.

  2. 2. What is the name of the native martian race John Carter fights in the movie?

    Nope! The correct answer is Tharks. Can’t blame you for getting it wrong, though. Even if you did see John Carter when it came out, it’s not really the kind of movie that stays with you. It’s no Harry Potter.

    Nope! The correct answer is Tharks. Can’t blame you for getting it wrong, though. Even if you did see John Carter when it came out, it’s not really the kind of movie that stays with you. It’s no Harry Potter.

    You got it! Way to go!

    Nope! The correct answer is Tharks. Can’t blame you for getting it wrong, though. Even if you did see John Carter when it came out, it’s not really the kind of movie that stays with you. It’s no Harry Potter. You don’t see people dressing up as John Carter for Halloween or anything like that.

  3. 3. We promised you some Harry Potter shit, so here you go! For this question, just tell us which of the options below is not an ingredient in the Polyjuice Potion.

    Nope! The correct answer is mandrake roots.

    That felt good, didn’t it? Thanks for being so patient with the John Carter stuff.

    Nope! The correct answer is mandrake roots.

    Nope! The correct answer is mandrake roots.

  4. 4. What are the names of the two warring city states in John Carter? FYI, we tossed Ron and Hermione in as one of the choices. Feel free to click that one if it’ll make this more fun for you.

    Not quite! The correct answer is Helium and Zodanga.

    They get married!

    Nice!

    Not quite! The correct answer is Helium and Zodanga.

  5. 5. It’s the Weasley mom!

    You remember her!

    You remember her!

    You remember her!

    You remember her!

  6. 6. That last question was fun, but let’s rein it back in now. What gives John Carter his super ability to jump?

    Wrong. But no worries if you’re just randomly clicking answers in the John Carter questions to get you to the Harry Potter shit faster.

    Correct! Way to know John Carter. We didn’t really expect anyone to get this.

    Wrong! But no worries if you’re just randomly clicking answers in the John Carter questions to get you to the Harry Potter shit faster.

    Wrong! But no worries if you’re just randomly clicking answers in the John Carter questions to get you to the Harry Potter shit faster.

  7. 7. Who wrote the books that John Carter was based on?

    Hey, look at that! You got it right.

    Not quite! The correct answer is Edgar Rice Burroughs.

    Not even pretending to try, are you?

    Not even pretending to try, are you?

  8. 8. John Carter has magic in it. What is another movie that has magic in it?

    Nailed it. Good job.

    Nailed it. Good job.

    Nailed it. Good job.

    Nailed it. Good job.

    Nailed it. Good job.

    Nailed it. Good job.

    Nailed it. Good job.

    Nailed it. Good job.

  9. 9. Remember when Harry killed the basilisk?

    Honestly, you might like John Carter, too, if you gave it a chance. It’s not life-changing or anything, but it’s got some fun parts.

  10. 10. What is the other name used to refer to Mars in John Carter?

    Incorrect! The right answer is Barsoom.

    Incorrect! The right answer is Barsoom.

    This obviously isn’t the answer, but we’ll give it to you anyway for being such a good sport with all the John Carter questions.

    Good work!

  11. 11. All right, we can be done with John Carter questions now. Let’s end this on a picture of Harry playing Quidditch:

    Harry Potter!

    Harry Potter!

  • Results for We Figured This ‘How Well Do You Know John Carter’ Quiz Wouldn’t Be Much Of A Draw On Its Own, So We Sprinkled In Some Harry Potter Shit To Sweeten The Deal

    Huh. You Actually Know A Lot About John Carter.

    Wow, way to go. We really didn’t expect anyone to know this much about John Carter, but here you are. Huh.

  • Results for We Figured This ‘How Well Do You Know John Carter’ Quiz Wouldn’t Be Much Of A Draw On Its Own, So We Sprinkled In Some Harry Potter Shit To Sweeten The Deal

    You Have Been Sorted Into Gryffindor!

    Your bravery, heart, and chivalry have earned you a place in the Gryffindor house! Gryffindors are known for their determination and love of adventure. Also, you know a little bit about the movie John Carter.

  • Results for We Figured This ‘How Well Do You Know John Carter’ Quiz Wouldn’t Be Much Of A Draw On Its Own, So We Sprinkled In Some Harry Potter Shit To Sweeten The Deal

    You Don’t Know That Much About John Carter

    That’s okay. We realize you were probably only here for the Harry Potter shit.
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