Somebody Has To Be Scooter | ClickHole

1. Any takers?

No.

No, thanks.

I’m pretty sure I’m Fozzie Bear.

Which one is Scooter again?
2. Come on. Surely someone out there is willing to take one for the team by being Scooter.

Sorry, no.

Gonna have to pass on this one.

I was sort of hoping for Swedish Chef, you know? Does anyone else want to be him?

Honestly, just trying to remember him. What did he do exactly?
3. Okay look, he may not be Kermit the Frog or Miss Piggy, but he’s still a Muppet. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Nope.

Is Sweetums still available?

If it’s him or nothing, I’ll take nothing.

I’m almost positive I’m Fozzie Bear.
4. This shouldn’t have to be like pulling teeth, guys. Just take Scooter now, and then maybe we can get you something else next time.

Not interested.

How about Rowlf? Rowlf the Dog?

Honestly, I’d rather be one of the nameless chickens, if it came to that.

His thing was that he carried a clipboard, right?
5. Seriously? No one wants to be Scooter?

What about one of the less recognizable band guys? I’d be one of them.

I’d be Beaker.

Beaker’s great. Can I be him?

Please let me be Beaker.
6. Has it occurred to you that maybe—maybe—Gonzo is a little worse?

No way.

What? Gonzo is awesome.

He rides a motorcycle.

Gonzo is just okay, but he is still so much better than Scooter.
7. Is it really so bad to be Scooter?

Yes.

I would feel visceral shame if I were told that I was Scooter.

I hate Scooter. I don’t want to be Scooter. Don’t make me Scooter.

I am definitely Fozzie Bear.

Results for Somebody Has To Be Scooter

Via Disneydigitalfiles.com

You’re Scooter!
C’mon, it’s not so bad, is it? We know this probably wasn’t your first choice, but your willingness to be Scooter is greatly appreciated. Someone had to do it, and you rose to the challenge. You’re definitely the worst Muppet.

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