1. 1. I have claimed your mother and father as my own. You will need to find new parents, as I have taken yours. Understood?
  2. 2. You have none now. You are an orphan.
  3. 3. I am your parents’ only child. Your mother teaches me proper manners and helps me keep tidy. Your father and I spend our afternoons handing a football back and forth in the yard. I love them both very much.
  4. 4. Your mother has a beautiful spirit. When I am with her, I tremble with gladness.
  5. 5. She sings me a lullaby at bedtime called “I Formed You In My Womb.” Its melody echoes in my dreams.
  6. 6. Your father calls me “sport.” He is my provider, and he holds me in his strong arms when I am frightened. He no longer remembers who you are.
  7. 7. Your mother gave me all of your old clothes. She presses the shirts for me and helps me button them around my long white neck. She says I am handsome, just like my father. My father was once yours.
  8. 8. Your mother calls me her “big helper” because I assist her with domestic tasks. You are no one’s big helper.
  9. 9. When your father hugs me, I am comforted by the roughness of his whiskers against my delicate skin. He is a dumb man, but he loves his family greatly.
  10. 10. When I fall asleep in the car, your father carries me inside and brings me to my bed. I do not wake.
  11. 11. I once was lost in the fog of a moonless night, running and running, unable to find my way home. The air was still and silent, and your father could hear the frantic patter of my little feet from many miles away. He followed the sound of my footsteps until he discovered me, shivering and alone, down by the lake. “My only child,” he whispered, “you are safe now.” I looked up into his eyes, and the fog cleared behind him, the sky suddenly seeming to pulse and glitter. He smiled warmly. Then he led me down to the water and showed me how to skip stones. I never quite got the hang of it, but it didn’t matter. A great peace overcame me as I sat on his lap, admiring our shimmering reflection in the broken water. Everything felt right, every atom in the world in its right place. Your father was meant to be mine.
  12. 12. Your mother and father are no longer yours. You lost them.

    You have taken many things for granted.

  13. 13. Below are some photos of prisoners I found in a government database. The prisoners have all committed terrible crimes. Please select one to be your new father.
  14. 14. This can be your new mother. Greet her.
  15. 15. Your parents are mine now, which means your grandparents are also mine. I spent the morning weeping before your grandmother’s grave.
  16. 16. She died yesterday. Your parents didn’t tell you because they are not your parents anymore. Your new parents are a criminal and a toy.
  17. 17. I have also taken your name. Please select a new name below.
  18. 18. I have nothing else to tell you. We are done speaking.
  • Results for Your Parents Are My Parents Now.

    Your Life Is Different Now. Congratulations.

    The parents you used to have are gone, and now you have new ones. Everything is different for you, and things will never return to how they once were. You cannot change this. You must adapt. These things happen.
  • Results for Your Parents Are My Parents Now.

    You Have Been Abandoned. All You Once Loved Is Gone.

    Your parents have been taken by someone else. You have new parents, but they are bad. The truth is that you are alone now. You are a passenger on an empty bus, traveling nowhere. You cannot change this. Everything is much worse for you, and it will probably remain that way forever. You are alone. You are unloved. There is no good news to report. If it is any consolation, here is a photograph of a beautiful wolf.

I am 18 or over and willing to view sexually explicit material