Do You Deserve Hair? | ClickHole

1. Hair is a flower.

Yes.

No.
2. Hair is a flower. It comes from the brain and it lives on your head. This is true.

Yes, I agree.

Disagree.
3. Okay, now that you understand that hair is a flower, please answer the following question: Do you have hair, and in your opinion, do you deserve to have hair?

I have hair and I deserve hair.

I have hair but I do not deserve hair.

I do not have hair but I deserve hair.

I do not have hair and I do not deserve hair.
4. Well, we’ll just have to see if you really do deserve hair or not. Consider the following nightmare: You are in a burning building with your long, beautiful hair. What do you do?

Comb my long, beautiful hair.

Wash and dry my long, beautiful hair.

Grow some more of that long, beautiful hair.

Shave my head and leave the building.
5. When we die, our hair…

Goes to Hair Heaven.

Goes to regular heaven.

Goes to Arlington National Cemetery.

Goes to Egyptian Hell.
6. Which of these gods do you pray to at night?

Barbo, God of Hair.

Plumbo, Destroyer of Hair.

Padre Pelo, the Spanish version of Santa Claus who brings you hair three to five business days after Christmas whether you asked for it or not.

The Bad Barber, as seen on The News.
7. Hair is a flower.

Agree.

Disagree.
8. Please indicate your emotional response to the following sentences: “There’s some people… they don’t even have any of it. They don’t even have any hair.”

Neutral.

Somewhat troubled.

Deeply troubled.

Pretty much fucked for the rest of the day at least.
9. Please finish the following sentence: “Hair should be…”

Long and beautiful.

Beautiful and long and warm and soft hair, great hair.

Food.

Optional.
10. How would you use this to help hair?

I would use this to keep hair dry during a storm.

I would use this to keep hair safe from a thief.

I would sell this in order to buy a Ziplock bag of loose shampoo and conditioner all mixed together from a guy in the woods.

I have no interest in using this to help hair. I would use this to keep my mouth nice and hot at night.

Results for Do You Deserve Hair?

You Deserve Hair
YOU are the fabulously wonderful, rare kind of person who DESERVES hair! Whether or not you have hair, the important thing is that you SHOULD have hair and you MUST have hair and you WILL have hair if you do not CURRENTLY have hair because you DESERVE hair. Have faith and the flower of hair will crawl out of your brain soon enough. And when that happens, you can stand tall and proud knowing that you are deserving of hair. Nice!

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Results for Do You Deserve Hair?

You Don’t Deserve Hair
You wretch. You delinquent. You do not deserve hair. Hair is a beautiful flower that explodes out of your brain, and then many years later you die of a different thing like choking or murder. It is a GIFT. And an HONOR. If you have hair you should fucking give it to someone who actually deserves it, because you sure as hell don’t. How DARE you even THINK that you deserve hair. Please do not ever come back to this quiz again.

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