1. 1. Listen, bud, there’s just something you’ve gotta know up top and that’s why I call my purple Corvo the SLOTH. Well, it’s because my four-wheeled lady is slowwwww just like a sloth and *has* been in a tree. Ya dig?
  2. 2. Now, when you’re ridin’ in the SLOTH, you’d better understand that it’s gonna take toooooooo long to drive anywhere beyond a one-block radius, so our destination options are L-I-M-I-T-E-D. Which of these nearby locations would you be willing to crawl toward in my high-emission, one-sick-horsepower Chevrolet?
  3. 3. Pal, in the interest of full disclosure, you should know that when you’re ridin’ in my slowwww purple Corvette, you are ten times more vulnerable to attacks from BRIGANDS who might try and steal the loose quartz I keep in my back seat to WEIGH. DOWN. MY. WHIP. Bud, are you brave enough to face the quartz brigands or are you straight-up CONCERNED.
  4. 4. My Corvette is purple because of a MISTAKE. I wanted it to be dog color, but the man at the store thought I said, “Make it more purple than anything history has KNOWN.” So here we are. CAN YOU HANDLE THAT, COMPANION???
  5. 5. Wait, you’re a Christian, right?
  6. 6. My Corvette has NO breaks and NO engine and rollllllls through reds like NOBODY’S business with minimal consequences because everybody has enough time to maneuver around it. Thoughts? Concerns?
  7. 7. The wheels are cinderblocks.

  • Results for Are You Man Enough To Ride Along With Me In My Slow Purple Corvette?

    Let’s Ride

    Helllllllllllll yeah, companion. I can tell from your answers that you’re a true man of a man who isn’t afraid to get his CRAWL on. Well, you’re in luck, because there’s a permanently reclined seat in the SLOTH with your name on it. Just open up the door that CANNOT close, push aside any chunks of loose quartz, and settle in for what could easily turn into a six-hour cruise down the block. Let's ride!

  • Results for Are You Man Enough To Ride Along With Me In My Slow Purple Corvette?

    Whoa There, Little Man

    Sorry, pal, but it doesn't seem like you are quite enough man to ride with me in my slowwwww purple Corvette. Get some more man on you and maybe in a while you will be man enough to go for a crawl in the SLOTH. Au revoir, companion!

  • Results for Are You Man Enough To Ride Along With Me In My Slow Purple Corvette?

    Not Man Enough To Ride

    Wellllllllllll well well well welllllllllll well well okay okay. Looks like we have got not enough of a man on our hands here. You are NOT invited to scrape pavement in my quartzed-out SLOTH. Be gone, companion! Toodefuckinloo!
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