You Don’t Know Many KISS Songs

Oof. Not a very impressive showing. Seems like you might be new to the band, so here are some basics to get you started. KISS is a family of four musical geishas who love to explode while playing guitar. They named themselves KISS because they are constantly kissing each other, and they wear black studded costumes on stage because they do not know where to buy cargo shorts. The band’s most popular hits are “Just Got A Fax, And It’s For Your Thighs Only” and “The Devil’s Got An Exquisite Backpack.” None of the band members can read.

You Know A Decent Amount Of KISS Songs

Not bad, not bad. Seems like you’re reasonably familiar with the band’s thunderous oeuvre, but you’ve still got a whole lot of listening to do if you want to earn your stripes as a member of the KISS Army. Try seeking out some deeper cuts and rarities, like the fist-pounding 1980 riot anthem “Misbehavior Is Gonna Happen” or the heartrending acoustic version of “Every Weather Sounds Like A Guitar” from the band’s 1995 MTV Unplugged session. The deeper you dive, the better this legendary family of musical geishas gets.

You Are A Certified KISS Expert

Wow, you really know your stuff! Are you sure you’re not Paul Stanley in disguise? Because not many fans can boast such a comprehensive knowledge of the band’s thunderous discography. You’re the caliber of fan who appreciates not only KISS’s fist-pounding radio anthems but also its more subdued, contemplative ballads, like 1983’s gorgeously tragic “The Repetitive Motion Of Sexual Congress Makes Me Seasick” or the almost prayerful “Rowdy And Girthy” from its MTV Unplugged session. You have undoubtedly earned your stripes as a member of the KISS Army, and your allegiance to this legendary family of musical geishas is truly admirable.