1. 1. Well, here you are. You’ve been reassigned to the school’s landscaping crew, and it’s entirely because of your jackass contributions to the class’ discussion of Animal Farm. How are you feeling?
  2. 2. Interesting. Just so we can get a better grip on the situation here, which moronic theme did you stubbornly claim to be the most important in Animal Farm after waving your arm around like a maniac, saying “Pick me, pick me,” ultimately leaving the faculty no choice but to banish you to the landscaping shed?

    Good lord. You should have just kept your head down and maybe you’d still be working your way toward graduation.

  3. 3. Yikes. All right, well, from there your teacher must have tipped her hand that pawning you off to be the groundskeeper’s problem could be in the cards. Which of these ways did the faculty telegraph your fate of shoveling, raking, and mowing?
  4. 4. Once the overarching themes of Animal Farm are discussed, it’s pretty standard for the lesson to touch on the Orwellian idea of “doublethink,” and for the teacher to prompt students to come up with some examples. So, which of these imbecilic doublespeak examples did you let spill from your dumbass mouth and set you on the fast track to plant patrol?

    The fact that your teachers were discrete in shuffling you off to the landscaping crew is honestly a testament to their professionalism.

  5. 5. We’re sure you talked about the Russian Revolution of 1917, too. Oof. What dipshit parallel did you draw between Animal Farm and Russia’s political history that was awful enough to have the faculty quietly anoint you as the new landscaping apprentice?
  6. 6. Okay, we think we understand now. By this point, there was no turning back. The wheels were already in motion, and you were about to be discreetly reassigned to the landscaping crew due to your absolutely ludicrous interpretation of Animal Farm, and it sounds like it was deserved. How did the faculty pull the trigger and passive-aggressively transform you from student to landscaper?
  7. 7. How many of these ways have you tried to get back into the classroom since your impossibly dumb takes got you exiled to landscaping purgatory?

  • Results for Which Of Your Dumbass Contributions To The Class’ Discussion Of ‘Animal Farm’ Prompted The Faculty To Quietly Reassign You To The School’s Landscaping Crew?

    Your Belief That The Pigs In ‘Animal Farm’ Were A Part Of A Holy Order Is The Reason You Were Quietly Reassigned To The Landscaping Crew!

    You never explained why you thought this, and you completely ignored the overwhelming evidence suggesting your interpretation is incorrect. You made your own analyses, and you stuck to it, which is why you’re picking up trash off the lawn near the cafeteria.

  • Results for Which Of Your Dumbass Contributions To The Class’ Discussion Of ‘Animal Farm’ Prompted The Faculty To Quietly Reassign You To The School’s Landscaping Crew?

    Your Outbursts Of Nonsensical Buzzwords Are The Reason You Were Quietly Reassigned To The Landscaping Crew!

    It was pretty clear to both the teacher and your classmates that you had no idea what you were saying. In some sort of bizarre attempt to stay relevant in the class discussion, you just shouted sayings with no discernible connections or pattern, which is why you are now responsible for keeping the bushes and shrubs on campus nice and hydrated.

  • Results for Which Of Your Dumbass Contributions To The Class’ Discussion Of ‘Animal Farm’ Prompted The Faculty To Quietly Reassign You To The School’s Landscaping Crew?

    Your Belief That The Characters In ‘Animal Farm’ Are Meant To Represent Your Own Dad Is What Got You Silently Reassigned To The Landscaping Crew!

    Most people would understand the impossibility of such a notion within moments, but not you. You really insisted on it, which is why the faculty was forced to send you out to learn a thing or two about keeping up the school grounds.

  • Results for Which Of Your Dumbass Contributions To The Class’ Discussion Of ‘Animal Farm’ Prompted The Faculty To Quietly Reassign You To The School’s Landscaping Crew?

    Your Desire To Bury Books Is What Landed You On The Landscaping Crew!

    It’s not clear if you even gave ‘Animal Farm’ a shot, but who cares? You knew your place, and it’s outdoors burying books and making sure the school grounds look spick and span. This is what you’ve been asking for, so here it is. Enjoy!
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