1. 1. Let’s start broad. In the most general possible terms, describe the condiment you call dog sauce.
  2. 2. Please complete the following phrase as it sounds most natural to you: “Let me at some of that _______ dog sauce.”
  3. 3. Although you demand dog sauce from everyone, you ask some people to give you dog sauce more often than others. On average, to whom are you most likely to utter the phrase “Don’t hold back on the dog sauce. I expect to be drowning in it”?
  4. 4. When you walk into the Applebee’s kitchen and announce loudly to all of the cooks there without explanation that you’re “going to need a family-size extra helping of dog sauce on all of that,” what frenzied vision is dominating your mind?
  5. 5. Please choose ONLY ONE alternate name for dog sauce from below. Indicate the name you have used MOST OFTEN and with the DEEPEST VOICE in place of the term “dog sauce”:
  6. 6. Where on this meal would you point while demanding that someone “sling the dog’s own sauce on heavy right here”?
  7. 7. When you threaten to found your own dog sauce empire and put every restaurant in the civilized world out of business if someone doesn’t sail a cargo barge of dog sauce down your throat ASAP, what is the slogan that you propose for your new company?

  • Results for What Condiment Are You Referring To When You Ask For ‘Dog Sauce’?

    When You Ask For “Dog Sauce,” You Are Referring To Thousand Island Dressing

    When you bring someone a dish and demand that they slather it up with dog sauce, you are talking about Thousand Island dressing. When you email Amazon customer service to complain that none of its suppliers stock any jars of “dog sauce, salad’s final disguise,” what you really want is for the company to send you an unthinkable amount of Thousand Island dressing. Sadly, Amazon has no way of knowing this, so you have not yet tasted Thousand Island dressing, the elusive condiment you call “dog sauce.”

  • Results for What Condiment Are You Referring To When You Ask For ‘Dog Sauce’?

    When You Ask For “Dog Sauce,” You Are Referring To Seawater

    To you, “dog sauce” is another name for the ocean’s salty brine. If you went to the beach and were asked to describe the view out to the horizon, you might lick your lips and say, “Dog sauce as far as the eye can see. Give it to me.” This also explains why you will sometimes say things like, “Let’s catch a wave and just ride that dog sauce in to the shore,” and “Approximately 70 percent of Earth’s surface is the condiment I can’t get enough of,” though it does not excuse your saying these things. It would be simpler if you just called it seawater.

  • Results for What Condiment Are You Referring To When You Ask For ‘Dog Sauce’?

    When You Ask For “Dog Sauce,” You Are Asking For A Kiss

    Oh, yes. When you take your baby in your arms and ask for a rush infusion of dog sauce, that’s your way of saying you’re ready for a kiss so long that, eventually, it’s romance. And when your baby looks into your eyes and tells you true, tells you the dog sauce is coming right up, that’s when you know that the potion is starting to work and the dog sauce is yours, all yours.

  • Results for What Condiment Are You Referring To When You Ask For ‘Dog Sauce’?

    You Have No Idea What You Mean When You Ask For “Dog Sauce”

    The words “dog sauce” mean nothing to you. Anytime you ask someone to “Lay that dog sauce on nice and thick,” you’re pretty much taking a shot in the dark and hoping it all turns out for the best. You think of the words “Give me some dog sauce right now” as a sort of personal catchphrase, but you have no good reason for thinking this. Sometimes after asking for dog sauce, you will add, “And please make sure to hound me with it.” You have no idea what this means either.
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