1. 1. All right, we’re going figure out what animal you are. There are lots of animal species out there that you could be, almost 9 million in fact, but that’s no problem. No problem at all. We can find your animal. How about you check off all of the TV shows you watch, and maybe that’ll start pointing us in the right direction.
  2. 2. Thanks. That’s really helpful info, but honestly, we’re still a little overwhelmed with Earth’s sheer biodiversity. How about we use the process of elimination and make sure you’re not an ant? There are 12,000 species of ants out there, so it’d be great to rule them all out. We’ve determined that anyone who is an ant definitely does not like the movie The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2. Only check this box if you’ve seen The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2 and enjoyed it. That won’t tell us what animal you are, but it’ll confirm that you are not an ant.
  3. 3. A really useful clue would be to learn your animal’s natural habitat. A controversial theory holds that a person’s animal’s habitat can be discerned by studying what junk foods the person enjoys. This so-called “Snack-Indicated Territory Theory” is not settled science, but there are signs that your animal’s habitat may share some traits with the junk foods you consume, i.e., ice cream might indicate an arctic environment, salted potato chips might indicate you live in salt water, etc. Even if this data doesn’t actually reveal your animal’s habitat, it’ll help prove or disprove this linkage between junk food and spirit-animal habitat.
  4. 4. Oof, this is not looking good for us. We’ve collected a lot of information about you, but we’re no closer to a specific animal than we were to start. Hey, how badly do you want to know what animal you are? Or do you really just want a quiz result that’s a good animal that you can share online to impress your friends, whether or not it’s true? Here’s an option. Check this box, and we’ll say you’re a lion. No tricks, just a straight-up majestic lion. If you’re committed to finding out your actual animal, leave it blank, and we’ll do our best to figure it out. No promises though.
  5. 5. Okay, enough messing around. It’s time to figure out which animal you are, right now. We’ve got your TV shows and your junk foods, so maybe asking about your favorite music makes sense? Yeah, let’s do music. What music do you like?

  • Results for Jesus Christ, We Should Have Narrowed This Down, But Which Animal Are You?

    You Are Probably Some Kind Of Ant.

    All signs indicate that you’re some variety of ant. We don’t know which of the 12,000 species of ant you are, but now that you know you’re an ant, maybe you’ll be able to figure out your exact ant subspecies on your own. Good luck.

  • Results for Jesus Christ, We Should Have Narrowed This Down, But Which Animal Are You?

    There’s A 90 Percent Chance You’re A Dog Or A Horse.

    So, you really didn’t give us much to go on here. We think you’re a dog or a horse, or maybe something similar like a coyote or a mule. There’s an outside chance, 10 to 15 percent at most, that you’re very different from a dog or a horse, but even then you probably still have four legs. We’re pretty confident you have four legs even if you’re not a dog or a horse, but don’t hold us to that. Maybe if you liked more TV shows, junk foods, or music we could zero in closer to your animal.

  • Results for Jesus Christ, We Should Have Narrowed This Down, But Which Animal Are You?

    Wow, We Actually Did It. You’re A Milk Snake.

    Huh. You’re lampropeltis triangulum syspila, the red milk snake. Got to be honest: We didn’t think we were going to stick the landing on this quiz, but we pulled it off somehow. Milk snakes are harmless but are often mistaken for the poisonous coral snake, which maybe indicates that you act tough but have a cuddly personality underneath it all? Or maybe not. We haven’t really thought that far ahead. The important thing is that we figured out what animal you are, which is a pretty impressive thing for us to have done.

  • Results for Jesus Christ, We Should Have Narrowed This Down, But Which Animal Are You?

    You Are A Whale That Lives In The Desert? That Can’t Be Right.

    Okay, so what we’re seeing is that you’re a blue whale that lives on land somewhere very dry. Obviously that’s not correct, but that’s what your answers indicated. Maybe the problem is on our end, and we completely botched this quiz. Or perhaps your spirit animal actually is a whale that lives in the desert? It seems extremely unlikely, but somebody out there has to be a whale that lives in the desert, and maybe that person is you.

  • Results for Jesus Christ, We Should Have Narrowed This Down, But Which Animal Are You?

    You Are A Lion, King Of The Beasts.

    Congratulations! You are a lion, the most majestic of all the animals. This symbolizes the bravery and strength that you have as a person. All your friends look up to you as a role model, because you are the rare type of person who is a lion, and that is something to be proud of.
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