How Metal Are You? | ClickHole

1. Check off all the metal things about you:

Instead of going to college, I spent four years hating angels.

I have tattoos of every cashier who has sold me a metal album.

I sleep inside a mosh pit.

I’ve failed English twice, because the only adjective I’ll use is “HIGH OCTANE.”

I started as an intern on “The Osbournes” and worked all the way up to associate producer.

My body is filled with blood.

James Hetfield is my son’s godfather even though he doesn’t know who I am.

My bed is exactly as comfortable as Slayer drummer Dave Lombardo’s bed.

The doctors had to perform a C-section when I was born, because I refused to stop banging my head around in the birth canal.

If I ever go to a guitar store, the first one I pick up will be extremely pointy.

Once a week I coax someone into carrying me to the bathroom at work to fulfill my crowd-surfing quota.

I have a Bluetooth that’s been on a call with a man playing the drums for the past four years.

When I die, I plan to be scattered at Disneyland without being cremated.

Results for How Metal Are You?

You are very metal!
You are way more metal than most people, and chances are you’re used to being the most metal person in the room, even when you are at a metal concert. You go to an unusually high number of metal concerts per week (more than two) and you think about metal music more times per hour than average (more than two). Both of your parents are in Metallica. Nice!

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Results for How Metal Are You?

You are reasonably metal.
You are normal. You are no more or less metal than the typical person who you meet at the grocery store or in a public park or sometimes at a metal concert. You go to metal concerts an average number of times per week (two) and you think about metal music an average number of times per hour (two). You are usually listening to metal, but not always. Only one of your parents is in Metallica.

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Results for How Metal Are You?

You are not metal.
Uh oh. You’re way less metal than average, and it’s obvious to everyone who you meet in the course of your daily life. You go to fewer than two metal concerts a week, and you only think about metal music once a day, right before going to sleep, at which point you think, “I wonder what metal music is.” Neither of your parents is even in Metallica.

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