How Haunted Is Your House? | ClickHole

1. Check off all the things you have noticed about your house:

Sometimes I get woken up at night by the loud sobbing of a translucent widow, and she won’t go away until I spritz her with a water bottle.

Every time I make the sign of the cross, a hellish, guttural voice says “I’d really rather you didn’t.”

My vegetables always seem to go bad a little quicker than you’d think they would.

The bone-chilling whispers telling me to “get out” and “get out now” are just white noise at this point.

My decorative suits of armor sat down on the couch to watch TV and won’t let me change the channel if Ice Road Truckers is on.

No matter which way the wind blows, my weathervane always points toward the former headquarters of Enron.

My reflection is constantly doing jerk-off motions at me.

I have a grandfather clock that, for all I know, was built by a murderer.

The koi in my koi pond died and turned into ghost fish, which is actually really convenient since I don’t have to feed them anymore.

There’s just a lot of dust.

My daughter’s head hasn’t stopped rotating since we moved in, but her grades are still good so we’re not too worried.

I had a priest come to exorcise my house, and a year later he’s still not even done with the foyer.

Results for How Haunted Is Your House?

Your House Is Very Haunted!
Wow! The resounding answer is that your house is haunted beyond compare, with spirits infesting every corner of the whole place. It's time to collapse from fear, because you are living in a haunted house!

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Results for How Haunted Is Your House?

Your House Is Somewhat Haunted.
Okay, some strange things have been happening in your house, so we can say with confidence that it's pretty haunted. Not as bad as it could be, but definitely supernatural, and probably permanent!

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Results for How Haunted Is Your House?

Your House Is Not Haunted.
Based on your answers, it seems that what you have on your hands is a normal house without ghosts. When you go to sleep in your bedroom, the ghosts mutter to themselves that they are too far away to be haunting you, and then they go to sleep in their own houses. Congratulations on your ghost-free real estate!

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