1. 1. So, will this be your first time seeing the big pumpkin?
  2. 2. And what brought you here to see the Big Pumpkin today?
  3. 3. We’re going to show you the small pumpkin to see how you feel before we set you up with the big pumpkin. Please choose the answer that best describes your reaction to the small pumpkin.

    Sorry again for the red tape. If we had it our way, we would just show you the picture right now.

  4. 4. We’ll need a little medical information as well. Has anyone in your family died after seeing the big pumpkin?
  5. 5. Does this pumpkin look orange on your computer screen? If not, please re-calibrate your display settings for optimal viewing of the Big Pumpkin.
  6. 6. Please choose one of these dogs with a pumpkin. This is simply for our own record-keeping, your choice will in no way affect our decision to show you the big pumpkin.

    Ah, excellent choice.

  7. 7. Alright, almost done! Here’s a quick liability waiver. Don’t worry, we make everyone do this. It’s to cover both your ass and our ass, but you’re going to be completely fine.
  8. 8. Lastly, please select an emergency contact before viewing the big pumpkin.
  • Results for Just A Few Minor Formalities Before We Can Show You The Big Pumpkin

    Okay, we’re all finished! Everything looks to be in order here.

    Thank you for your patience, now please enjoy the big pumpkin.

I am 18 or over and willing to view sexually explicit material