Our state-of-the-art quizzes require JavaScript. 1. So, will this be your first time seeing the big pumpkin? Yes. No. I’ve seen considerably large pumpkins, but to my knowledge, I have not seen the big pumpkin. Due to an ongoing court case, I can’t comment one way or the other. 2. And what brought you here to see the Big Pumpkin today? Business. Pleasure. Business-related pleasure. Religious tradition. Referral from a friend, relative, or certified U.S. Gourd Steward. I hope seeing the big pumpkin helps me find the answer to that question. 3. We’re going to show you the small pumpkin to see how you feel before we set you up with the big pumpkin. Please choose the answer that best describes your reaction to the small pumpkin. I feel comfortable. I feel overwhelmed. I have a feeling that if I see a pumpkin any bigger than that, something truly wonderful will happen. This is not at all what I thought a pumpkin was. Sorry again for the red tape. If we had it our way, we would just show you the picture right now. 4. We’ll need a little medical information as well. Has anyone in your family died after seeing the big pumpkin? Yes, I’ve lost one or more relatives because they saw the big pumpkin. No, no one in my family has died because they saw the big pumpkin. My cousin died, but that was years after he saw the big pumpkin. I have one or more family members who became paralyzed in some part or all of their body after seeing the big pumpkin, but they’re alive and I obtained their blessing before coming here. 5. Does this pumpkin look orange on your computer screen? If not, please re-calibrate your display settings for optimal viewing of the Big Pumpkin. My display settings have been optimized for viewing the big pumpkin. What I am looking at is definitely orange but in no way a pumpkin. 6. Please choose one of these dogs with a pumpkin. This is simply for our own record-keeping, your choice will in no way affect our decision to show you the big pumpkin. Ah, excellent choice. 7. Alright, almost done! Here’s a quick liability waiver. Don’t worry, we make everyone do this. It’s to cover both your ass and our ass, but you’re going to be completely fine. I accept full responsibility for any harm done to my physical person and/or computer as a result of viewing the big pumpkin. 8. Lastly, please select an emergency contact before viewing the big pumpkin. Reverend John Gerrity Badboy former reverend Dag Havermeier who got ex-communicated for giving confession while sitting on his motorcycle You need to enable JavaScript in order to get your results. Let's See The Big Pumpkin Results for Just A Few Minor Formalities Before We Can Show You The Big Pumpkin Okay, we’re all finished! Everything looks to be in order here. Thank you for your patience, now please enjoy the big pumpkin. Share Your Results
