Can You Help Corroborate This Story That I Went T...

1. Okay, go get two pressed pennies from the aquarium. I’ll need you to come by at 5:30 with them and say you forgot to give them back to me and Bruno Mars. And since I’ll probably see Bruno again soon, I should go ahead and keep his for now. Got it? I don’t know if this will sell the whole story to Lindsay, but it will definitely help.: Got it: Two pressed pennies, 5:30, you and Bruno Mars are hanging out again soon.; Got it! I will even use your garden hose to get sopping wet before I ring your doorbell and give you the pennies. You can say Bruno Mars pushed me into the sea-urchin tank.; I do not want to be a part of this.; Lindsay won’t believe this Bruno story if it’s just coming from me. Not for a second. That’s why I need you.

2. Lindsay’s interest will be piqued by the souvenir pennies, and she will ask me to elaborate. I will say that Bruno Mars needed to get away from touring for a bit so he called me up to see if we could hang out. I told Bruno that I didn’t have time today because I had to clean up the apartment before my ex dropped my daughter off, but Bruno Mars just kept going on and on about how miserable he was until I said yes. Think you can remember that?: Yes. Your apartment is a mess because Bruno Mars wouldn’t take no for an answer today.; Hell, I’ll do you one better: I was next to you when that call came in. He promised to put your daughter’s name in his next big song if you said yes, remember?; This will end in ruin.

3. I’m going to say we saw every single part of that aquarium. My favorite part was the seals (she loves seals), your favorite part was the jellyfish, and Bruno’s favorite part was initially the sharks, but I told him some cool facts about seals, and he changed his mind to seals too. Okay, repeat it back to me.: You loved the seals, I loved the jellyfish, Bruno Mars loved the sharks but then loved the seals because of something you told him that somehow makes seals cooler than sharks.; I liked the seals.; Have you tried just spending time with her? Doing things she likes?; If she doesn’t buy this story, she’ll think I’m an even bigger loser for lying, so I really need your help.

4. Can you casually add a detail that doesn’t contradict what I’ve established already? Really want to make this Bruno Mars story zip.: Yes. An octopus has three hearts. This is a fact we learned, and it scared Bruno Mars but not you.; Yes. Bruno Mars had a weird reaction to the food-court hamburgers and his fingernails started falling out, but he’s okay now. I have the fingernails in my pocket if she wants to see them.; Yes. You’re a goddamn mess.

5. Okay, so here’s the official story: In the deep-sea exhibit, Bruno Mars really opened up about why he hates touring. As he gazed at an octopus, he broke down about how he might never sing another song in his life because he’s afraid he’ll forget all his lyrics. But I showed him a picture of my daughter, who is his biggest fan, and he said he’d give it another shot for her. What will you say you were doing during this time?: I will say that I was pretending to look at the fangtooth fish but was really listening in.; I’ll say that you brought up the touring and really laid into him for being such a baby about it, and then Bruno really shut down for the rest of our trip.; I was busy having a trusting relationship with my own daughter who respects me. Leave me out of this.; I know this is a lot to remember. The more complex the story, the harder it will be to refute.

6. Okay, last part, and please keep in mind my relationship with my daughter hangs in the balance here: On our way out, we passed by an unattended PA system, and I told Bruno Mars to give singing another chance right then and there. He was too embarrassed, so I started singing “Uptown Funk” and pretty soon a crowd gathered. He eventually joined in, and by the end the whole aquarium was dancing and singing with us. Anything you’d like to add to really make this story pop my for little girl?: I will say the performance was amazing and you ended up getting more compliments than Bruno on the way out.; I drove Bruno to the airport after.; Definitely not.

Results for Can You Help Corroborate This Story That I Went To The Aquarium With Bruno Mars So My Daughter Will Respect Me?