Is He Going To Propose? | ClickHole

1. Check off everything that applies to your boyfriend:

He recently installed a husband chute in our house.

He already welded our cars together.

He recently registered the Twitter handle @SoonHaveWife.

Whenever I ask him about marriage, he emits a soothing odor.

I caught him practicing putting a ring on a hot dog.

He sometimes takes a female mannequin out in a gondola for what he describes as “practice.”

There are more doves stored in our shed than usual.

The other day, we were reading in the living room, and he looked up from his book and said, “Spouses are nice.”

His recent Google searches were “NORMAL MAN SOON TO PROPOSE (SAFE)” and “ADULT PROPOSAL IMMINENT (MALE, SAFE).”

He has said, “Did you know that Fred and Wilma Flintstone were married?” within the past 48 hours.

He keeps a priest hidden in the closet.

He introduces me to his friends as “The Wife Of Tomorrow.”

Everyone in our flash mob practice group has suddenly gotten weird and whispery around me.

He was on CNN talking about the election, and the description next to his name was “Aspiring Spouse.”

I was watching GoldenEye on TBS, and Alec Trevelyan turned to the camera and whispered, “He’s gonna pop the question.”

Results for Is He Going To Propose?

He’s Definitely Going To Propose
Wow! Looks like your boyfriend is definitely ready to put a ring on it. He’s showing all the telltale signs of a marriage proposal, from gradually introducing tuxedo pieces into his regular wardrobe rotation to constantly making that “I’m ready for a serious commitment” face during sex. Congratulations! Hopefully, you love him—you know, like, actually love him.

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Results for Is He Going To Propose?

He’s Not Going To Propose
Looks like your boyfriend isn’t quite ready to propose. He’s not showing any of the telltale marriage proposal signs, and honestly, we can’t be sure that he still loves you anymore. After all, if he did love you, wouldn’t he be ready to propose? Ah, well, best of luck!

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