Which Future U.S. President Are You? | ClickHole

1. Which political party do you belong to?

Democrat

Republican

Technocrat

Neo-Visigoth
2. Pick your perfect vice president:

The genetically modified clone of Steve Jobs

The latest model of V.I.C.E. President (Virtual Intelligence Commanding Executive)

My trusty sand hound

Photoshynthetic candidate to help secure Sentient Flora vote
3. What is your biggest campaign promise?

Get our troops out of Greenland

Rebuild the moon

An organ printer in every home

Once again capture the secret of controlling fire
4. China is funneling its hydrogen fusion cell exports through neighboring tariff-free nations. How do you respond?

Play hardball. America will never surrender to the Chinese a third time.

Play ball. You need those cells to complete the Appalachian Zero Grid.

Play both sides. Express outrage through Congressional surrogates while privately taking the Jump Room to negotiate a backroom deal in New Beijing.

Surely you are mistaken. China is nothing more than a story passed down through the ages by old men.
5. You have an unforeseen budgetary surplus. How do you spend it?

Finish doming the Great Lakes region

Vertical hydroponic farms

Our only currency is grain. Have the children sow it and pray.

Retrieve Washington Monument from ocean floor
6. How do you unwind?

Stimulating game of multi-tiered chess

Safe, legal heroin

Virtual Camp David Goggles

Basketball

Results for Which Future U.S. President Are You?

President Srinivas Mahankali
Srinivas Mahankali is currently 4 years old and loves dancing and bubbles. As President, he will be remembered for his steady hand during the Twelve Minutes' War and for spearheading the Artificials’ Rights Act of 2071.

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President Katherine Seo
Future President Katherine Seo will be a vociferous opponent of economic disparity, passing The Cloudreachers Act of 2184 that allows Earther children born on Sky Ark 1 to remain on Sky Ark 1 indefinitely if they commit to a life of servitude.

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President Colby Mackelroy
Our first genetically engineered commander in chief. Although he was dubbed “not a real human” by critics, any doubt regarding President Mackelroy’s loyalties to our species was quickly dissipated by his steadfast leadership during The War Between Man and Machine, and the subsequent war of Man and Machine vs. Alive Flowers.

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President Janus of The Outerlands
You’re President Janus of the Outerlands. As the first President of New America, your major accomplishments will include the unification of the Farther Tribes and the reinstitution of agrarian society, but you’ll be best remembered for your inspiring landmark speech, “The Sun Is Not Angry With Us.”

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