1. 1. Lindsey and Brian have just baptized their son William. They are so pleased, and now you need to give them a present. What is an appropriate gift for this kind of happy event?

    Nope! All of these things are important to have for a newly baptized baby, but a shark tooth necklace is the most important of all of them because it will help the police find the baby when it gets kidnapped. Giving them this gift will show them that you’re a friend who truly cares.

    Nope! All of these things are important to have for a newly baptized baby, but a shark tooth necklace is the most important of all of them because it will help the police find the baby when it gets kidnapped. Giving them this gift will show them that you’re a friend who truly cares.

    Nope! All of these things are important to have for a newly baptized baby, but a shark tooth necklace is the most important of all of them because it will help the police find the baby when it gets kidnapped. Giving them this gift will show them that you’re a friend who truly cares.

    You got it! All of these things are important to have for a newly baptized baby, but a shark tooth necklace is the most important of all of them because it will help the police find the baby when it gets kidnapped. Giving them this gift will show them that you’re a friend who truly cares.

  2. 2. Here are Stephanie and the Admiral, looking happy and in love with each other. They just got married, and wedding bells are in the air! What gift is best to give to them on this kind of a happy day?

    Close, but no! Many people already have most of these things, but very few people have a nice lemon to suck on while they are having a private romance. If you give them a lemon, then for sure they will take it from you and start having intercourse right there in front of you. Then they’ll suck on the lemon while they fuck each other, and you can watch them suck the sour juice from the lemon and make the pucker face while they fuck, and that’s a nice thing to see.

    That’s right! Many people already have most of these things, but very few people have a nice lemon to suck on while they are having a private romance. If you give them a lemon, then for sure they will take it from you and start having intercourse right there in front of you. Then they’ll suck on the lemon while they fuck each other, and you can watch them suck the sour juice from the lemon and make the pucker face while they fuck, and that’s a nice thing to see.

    Close, but no! Many people already have most of these things, but very few people have a nice lemon to suck on while they are having a private romance. If you give them a lemon, then for sure they will take it from you and start having intercourse right there in front of you. Then they’ll suck on the lemon while they fuck each other, and you can watch them suck the sour juice from the lemon and make the pucker face while they fuck, and that’s a nice thing to see.

    Close, but no! Many people already have most of these things, but very few people have a nice lemon to suck on while they are having a private romance. If you give them a lemon, then for sure they will take it from you and start having intercourse right there in front of you. Then they’ll suck on the lemon while they fuck each other, and you can watch them suck the sour juice from the lemon and make the pucker face while they fuck, and that’s a nice thing to see.

  3. 3. Here is Samantha. Her father has just passed away. You need to give her a funeral gift. What will you give her?

    Nice job! It’s very important to keep your food safe from ghosts. A hammer is a perfect gift for Samantha because she can use it to frustrate her dead dad when he returns from beyond the grave and tries to carry her bread and vegetables into the underworld.

    Nope! It’s very important to keep your food safe from ghosts. A hammer is a perfect gift for Samantha because she can use it to frustrate her dead dad when he returns from beyond the grave and tries to carry her bread and vegetables into the underworld.

    Nope! It’s very important to keep your food safe from ghosts. A hammer is a perfect gift for Samantha because she can use it to frustrate her dead dad when he returns from beyond the grave and tries to carry her bread and vegetables into the underworld.

    Nope! It’s very important to keep your food safe from ghosts. A hammer is a perfect gift for Samantha because she can use it to frustrate her dead dad when he returns from beyond the grave and tries to carry her bread and vegetables into the underworld.

  4. 4. Here is Carlos. He is celebrating because he has just learned that his piano teacher lost his virginity. What is a good gift to give to Carlos to commemorate this joyous time in his life?

    Wrong! The greatest gift you can give to a man is the gift of fruit on his head. Carlos will love to have a thick cloud of wasps and birds circling him at all times, and he will have a great time telling them all about his piano teacher’s sexual beginnings. Carlos will definitely even write you a thank-you note on account of how much he loves the gift of fruit!

    Wrong! The greatest gift you can give to a man is the gift of fruit on his head. Carlos will love to have a thick cloud of wasps and birds circling him at all times, and he will have a great time telling them all about his piano teacher’s sexual beginnings. Carlos will definitely even write you a thank-you note on account of how much he loves the gift of fruit!

    Wrong! The greatest gift you can give to a man is the gift of fruit on his head. Carlos will love to have a thick cloud of wasps and birds circling him at all times, and he will have a great time telling them all about his piano teacher’s sexual beginnings. Carlos will definitely even write you a thank-you note on account of how much he loves the gift of fruit!

    Correct! The greatest gift you can give to a man is the gift of fruit on his head. Carlos will love to have a thick cloud of wasps and birds circling him at all times, and he will have a great time telling them all about his piano teacher’s sexual beginnings. Carlos will definitely even write you a thank-you note on account of how much he loves the gift of fruit!

  5. 5. Look, it’s Kyle. He just bought this beautiful new home, and it’s considered appropriate to bring him a housewarming gift. What is the proper gift to give to Kyle in this situation?

    Wrong! All of these gifts are incredibly important, but the best one of all is an electric guitar because Kyle can use it to play the opening riff of “Iron Man” while he is cooked alive in an upscale domestic inferno. When Kyle sees the electric guitar you got him for his house, he will kiss his own hands and say, “I wish my hands were your neck!”

    Wrong! All of these gifts are incredibly important, but the best one of all is an electric guitar because Kyle can use it to play the opening riff of “Iron Man” while he is cooked alive in an upscale domestic inferno. When Kyle sees the electric guitar you got him for his house, he will kiss his own hands and say, “I wish my hands were your neck!”

    You got it! All of these gifts are incredibly important, but the best one of all is an electric guitar because Kyle can use it to play the opening riff of “Iron Man” while he is cooked alive in an upscale domestic inferno. When Kyle sees the electric guitar you got him for his house, he will kiss his own hands and say, “I wish my hands were your neck!”

    Wrong! All of these gifts are incredibly important, but the best one of all is an electric guitar because Kyle can use it to play the opening riff of “Iron Man” while he is cooked alive in an upscale domestic inferno. When Kyle sees the electric guitar you got him for his house, he will kiss his own hands and say, “I wish my hands were your neck!”

  • Results for Are You A Good Gift-Giver?

    You’re A Master Gift-Giver

    Incredible! You know just the right gift for every occasion! You’re the kind of person everyone wants as a friend, the kind who hands over valuable trash on special occasions. You’re very impressive and deserve more money and food than other people.

  • Results for Are You A Good Gift-Giver?

    You’re A Pretty Good Gift-Giver

    All right, not bad! You know a thing or two about how to give things to people when they are happy or sad. Please spend the rest of the day feeling warm in your belly on account of how good you did on this quiz!

  • Results for Are You A Good Gift-Giver?

    You’re A Subpar Gift-Giver

    Uh-oh! Looks like you’ve got a thing or two to learn about what sorts of presents are good to give to your friends! You didn’t do so hot on this quiz, so please do not feel good ever. Go study the art of gift-giving for a little while and then try taking this quiz again.

  • Results for Are You A Good Gift-Giver?

    You’re A Miserable Gift-Giver

    Oh, jeez! You don’t know anything about how to give people gifts at all! You are bad to be friends with, and when good things happen to people, they feel sad because they know they’re going to get a terrible present from you, their terrible friend.
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