You Haven’t Heard Any Velvet Underground Songs!

You’re an affront to the Velvet Underground, rock and roll, and the world in general! You haven’t heard a single track from the Velvet Underground’s catalog, which is why Loud Lou and the Velvets inexcusably remain a total mystery to you. This is an awful thing to be true about you! Who are you, and why isn’t someone hurling you down a sewer right now?

You’ve Heard Barely Any Velvet Underground Songs

Ouch. You haven’t heard much by the Velvet Underground. This is bad news for you, since it means there’s a chance that you’ll die without hearing and memorizing all of Loud Lou and the Velvets’ seminal oeuvre, which would be a massive tragedy! You are the wrong kind of person.

You’ve Heard A Lot Of Velvet Underground Songs!

You know a lot of the best music from the Velvet Underground. You hadn’t heard about them in the early days, back when Nico first laid down her ghostly vocals on “Trust A Cousin With Your Troubles,” but once Loud Lou and the Velvets started blowing up, you became a fan. Nice!

You’ve Heard The Velvet Underground’s Entire Catalog!

Yes! You’re the one who has heard everything the Velvets ever put out. You know all their stuff by heart, and when Loud Lou brings it home on “I Love The Feeling Of Being Horny At Night,” you are in heaven. You love the Velvet Underground and your answers prove it! Find an East Village dive bar to celebrate these wonderful facts about yourself!