Mark, you know, he’s studying to be a dental hygienist!

Christina—she’s teaching special ed over at Hillcrest Elementary. Crazy, right?

Brian, Kristen’s boyfriend. No, not that one—Kristen’s other boyfriend.

Ugh. Morgan.

Sarah. Remember Sarah? The one Michelle tried to set you up with a few months ago, and you hated her.

Sixteen-time Grammy Award winner Sting.

Jalissa, the one who dropped out of college to model, then became a vet tech? She hated it in New York, said it just wasn’t her.

Henry. You remember, with the cancer.

David. I think that’s that guy’s name? The quiet guy. He’s so quiet!

Your Korean friend! I don’t remember his name, but you do, right? I saw his younger brother at the mall the other day, and wow—he is so handsome now.

Your birth dad. Sorry, I should have told you he was coming. That was not cool, I’ll admit it.

Kristina—okay, it’s actually crazy that she’s going to be there, because, so, she just had surgery after a skiing accident. She was doing one of those jumps where she does a 360 in the air, and then boom—she lands on her knee weird and snaps her ACL. She got surgery in Tahoe, of all places, and now she’s on crutches.

Frank, with the lazy eye.

Sting. I said Sting, right? Yes, he’s coming, so get your dancing shoes greased.

Devin! Can’t wait to see Devin. I miss that dude. Devin is great.

Do you remember Devin’s three-legged dog? She’ll also be there.

Also your birth mom is going to be there. Also should have told you about that one, but I figured that if both her and your dad are in the same room, you couldn’t get mad about both!

You—you’ll be there, right? Don’t let me down man, I can’t be around all these clowns without you. You’re my dude!