Does Your Dentist Like You?

1. Does your dentist regularly give you some of his teeth?: Yes, at the end of every visit he gives me a handful of his teeth; Yes, whenever I have a cavity, my dentist removes one of his teeth and lets me have it for free; No, he just lets me hold them sometimes; No, he doesn’t even let me touch them, and sometimes he takes mine out of me

2. What does your dentist call you?: Tooth Garden; The Friend One; Fabian, even though my name is Charles; Fabian, even though my name is Peter

3. What does your dentist say when you show him your teeth?: “Yes, this is my family.”; “Please come with me to the bar so I can show these to my dentist friends.”; “Why are they wet? They are not supposed to be wet.”; “You should never have shown me these.”

4. Does your dentist kiss each of your teeth individually, or just the big two?: He kisses them all; He kisses most of them; Just the big two; He does not kiss even one

5. What is the nicest thing your dentist has ever said about you?: He once told everyone in the waiting room that he got along with me better than he got along with anyone else in the waiting room at that time; He once told everyone in the waiting room that I was definitely in the top five people in the waiting room at that time that he liked the most; He once told everyone in the waiting room that I was not someone he considers a close personal friend; He once told everyone in the waiting room that they were all invited to go to a bar with him so he could show their teeth to his dentist friends, but specifically said that I was not invited

6. When your dentist goes on vacation, does he invite you to come along?: Yes; Sometimes; Never; He once called me while he was on vacation and told me that I could not come with him on vacation

7. When your appointment is over, what does your dentist do?: He weeps and wails and begs me to stay so he can look at my teeth more; He asks me if I would like to go to a bar so he can show my teeth to his dentist friends; He offers to adopt my teeth; He tells me that he will not be voting for me in the upcoming election

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