1. 1. Are you able to discern between people who deserve to be saved and people who should not be allowed to leave the plane at all costs?
  2. 2. In the event of emergency, will you become disoriented and think that the door is actually a nest of hissing vipers that you will point at and say, “Ahh! Vipers!” while slowly backing away?
  3. 3. How many people can you throw toward Heaven per minute?
  4. 4. Are you strong enough and willing to slap some sense into Carl in 19C? Because from the looks of him, Carl is going to lose his shit in the event of emergency.
  5. 5. Can you tell whether the pilot is saying “Open the emergency door now!” seriously or just as a fun joke to keep things light and lively during the flight?
  6. 6. How many bird languages can you speak?

  7. 7. Have you ever been convicted of a crime that involved not opening a door in an emergency situation?
  8. 8. Have you read Harrison Sullinger’s A Study Of Applied And Theoretical Discourses Pertaining To Emergency Row Action Expectation Convergent Inquiry, Volumes I-IV?
  9. 9. Are you comfortable with the Emergency Row Seat starting salary of $65,000 annually, with a high-deductible health insurance plan?

  • Results for Can You Perform The Duties Of The Exit Row?

    You Are Ready For The Emergency Exit Row

    Awesome. You’re ready for the emergency exit row. You have plenty of experience opening doors and inflating slides due to your illustrious past as a door/inflatable slide salesperson. With your extensive knowledge of bird languages, you can call on your feathered friends for help once you open the door, and not fall in love with them. Share your results and show your friends just how emergency exit row–ready you are!

  • Results for Can You Perform The Duties Of The Exit Row?

    You Are Not Prepared To Sit In The Emergency Exit Row

    Too bad. Prepare to sit in seat 28F, because you are not cut out for the emergency exit row. If the unthinkable were to happen, you’d be too paralyzed by your past, in which you were bullied by a plane emergency door, to perform your duties. Plus, if Carl loses it, which he’s totally gonna, just look at him, you’d be of no help. Try opening more emergency exit doors, and take this quiz again!
I am 18 or over and willing to view sexually explicit material