Which ‘Orange Is The New Black’ Character Are You? | ClickHole

1. What are you in for?

Armed robbery

Drug trafficking

Murder

Wouldn’t you like to know
2. So… did you do it?

Yeah, and I’d do it again too

No, I’m innocent

Yes, and I’m ashamed of myself

It’s complicated
3. Where do you go to get away from it all?

The kitchen

The library

The yard

The chapel (if you know what I mean)
4. Who is waiting for you back home?

My lover

My family

People who want to kill me

No one
5. You find out that someone has it in for you. What do you do?

Get them first

Try to resolve the issue with them calmly and respectfully

Tell the warden

No one would mess with me. I run this place.

Results for Which ‘Orange Is The New Black’ Character Are You?

NO MATCH

Hm…that’s strange. You don’t seem to be any of them. That can’t be right. Unless...unless you’re The One.

My God. Could it be? The One? It’s been so long, many of us had lost hope in the prophecy. We thought we’d never live to see the day The One would arrive. And yet here you are.

For years the Elders have spoken of the arrival of one who would not be defined by characters from Orange Is The New Black. They said when the hour was most hopeless there would come one who would take this quiz and miraculously defy its mechanics by not receiving a match for Piper Chapman, Red, Miss Claudette, Taystee, Alex Vause, Sophia, Nicky Nichols, or any of the other characters. And now you’re here! In you the prophecy is fulfilled. You are immaculate! You are divine! You are The One!

Well, don’t just sit there! Come with me! We must take you to the Cave of Memories. Tomorrow you fight, not just for your fate, but for the fate of all free men in Halcyon!