Are You Addicted To Coffee?

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is stick my head out my window and yell, “Now it is time for me to drink coffee, the bean-based drink that you can find at the store!”

If I go even one hour without getting my sludge on I become belligerent, and I say cruel and unforgivable things such as, “I like it when helpful people get carsick.”

My body is so amped up on caffeine that doctors have informed me that if my head ever got chopped off by a guillotine, the caffeine in my bloodstream would keep my decapitated body alive long enough for it to pick up my own severed head and punt it over the horizon.

Results for Are You Addicted To Coffee?

You Are A Bean Slave!
Wow! This is so good! It turns out that you’re a complete Bean Slave! You live for the sludge, and the sludge is your master. You can’t make it through a single day without the glorious scalding taste of the coffee you require. When you’re getting your sludge on, it’s bliss for you, and all your problems are dissolved in the night-black lava of the bean, but when you don’t get your sludge on you become frightened and confused, and the world becomes hideous to you. You are physically and emotionally dependent on the hot sludge of the bean, and that is something to truly be proud of. Thank you so much for being this way!

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Results for Are You Addicted To Coffee?

You Have A Very Strong Addiction To Coffee!
Very cool! Your powerless addiction to the hot darkness of the bean is extremely strong! You are thinking about the sludge that is coffee all the time, and when you’re not getting your sludge on, then it’s hissy fits all day long for you—and rightfully so! You crave the bean and you need the sludge, and so when you go to the store, your eyes are always peeled for the sludge that you need. You are endlessly interesting and unique, and that is because you want coffee a lot of the time. Congratulations!

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You Are Only A Little Bit Addicted To Coffee!
Okay, so the bad news about you is that your cravings for the hot black bean are not particularly strong. You can get along just fine without getting your sludge on, and even if you went an entire day without drinking deep from the scalding blackness of coffee, you would barely even cry. This makes you bad. In the future, you will need to become more addicted to the beautiful hot sludge so that everyone can fall in love with your coffee-addled personality. Thanks!

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You Are Barely Addicted To Coffee!
This is awful! What a terrible time to live in the world! You are barely addicted to coffee the good black sludge that is also very hot! When you are getting your sludge on, you’re fine, but when you don’t get your sludge on, you’re also fine. That’s backwards and disgusting! Your brain isn’t even a little bit electric due to caffeine, and you probably sleep frequently. It’s important to become more addicted to coffee so that you can be unique and interesting. This is the ironclad result of your quiz.

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You Are Not Addicted To Coffee At All!
What unprecedented misery is this? You’re not addicted to coffee at all! Will we ever be happy again? You probably almost always never get your sludge on all the time, and that is a terrible thing. Your brain is so starved for the sweet caffeine that you probably go to sleep all the time and in all the places. You probably even go to sleep at the harbor of all places! You deserve to remain alive, but you do not deserve to be happy. Please be more addicted to coffee the next time you are born. Thanks!

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