Do You Have What It Takes To Be An Astronaut? | ClickHole

1. How would you react when confronted with the infinite blackness of space?

Scream for a few minutes, but then be fine

Cry and beg to come back down

Think I’m fine, but then a few days later start screaming and never stop

I would drink deep of that blackness until it fills my mind and erases all other thought or memory
2. Please identify which of these photos shows outer space:
3. Do you own your own spacesuit?

Yes, I have one hanging in my closet right now and it’s ready to go

No, but I would be willing to purchase one if I were hired as an astronaut

No, and I have no intention of wearing one when I’m an astronaut

Yes, but it is a vintage suit from the 1961 Mercury mission that I bought at an auction, and it’s only for display
4. If you were strapped into a chair, and that chair were spun around a centrifuge to simulate 10 G’s of gravity, how melty would your eyeballs get?

They would ooze right out of there like two fat slugs

My eyeballs are pretty solid; they’d squish a bit, but stay where they are

My right eye is softer than my left eye, and that one would dribble out, but the left eye would be a firm and unyielding sphere

I’m not sure, but I’m eager to find out
5. Do you have a valid driver’s license?

Yes

No
6. You’re on board the International Space Station when surprise nuclear war breaks out all over the surface of the Earth. Mushroom clouds explode over every major city, and you are unable to reach anyone over the radio. You have five fellow crewmates: two Americans (one female, one male), one Russian (male), one Italian (female), and one German (male). As far as you know, you six people are the only humans left alive. What is your course of action?

Complete my experiments on how zero gravity affects the growth of soybeans; the science must continue, even if humanity does not

Kill the male astronauts and repopulate Earth as its lord and patriarch

Kill the female astronauts and repopulate Earth from my fertile womb as supreme matriarch

Land on Earth at Fort Knox and steal all the gold to split six ways
7. Are you good at astronaut math?

I graduated first in my class at space college with a major in astronaut math

I’m good at the astronaut math to go up, but never really grasped the astronaut math to come back down

Not in my head; however, I bought a good calculator, and these days they come loaded with functions for all the astronaut math

I do not know any math, but especially not astronaut math
8. If you got stranded on the moon, what would be your final transmission to Earth?

I’d give a heartfelt speech about how my sacrifice is a necessary cost of furthering mankind’s horizons and ask Congress to increase NASA’s funding

I would angrily blame NASA over the radio for stranding me to die, and I’d cause an unnecessary headache for a lot of people back at Mission Control

I’d scream and complain in terror as I run out of oxygen and really sour the public on manned space exploration

I would thank NASA for the honor of dying on the moon

Results for Do You Have What It Takes To Be An Astronaut?

You Are A Double Level Neil Armstrong Astronaut
Congratulations! You got every single response right! This has never happened before in the history of NASA. All the other astronauts are fired, and you have all of their jobs now. Amazing!

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Results for Do You Have What It Takes To Be An Astronaut?

You Are Ready For Launch
Congratulations! You are a prime specimen of grade-A astronaut. Put on your spacesuit and bid your loved ones farewell, because you’re going up to the stars. Good job!

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Results for Do You Have What It Takes To Be An Astronaut?

You Are Only Mission Control Material
Not bad! You have a passion for all things space, which is great, but your skills aren’t quite astronaut caliber. Although you won’t get to go into orbit, you can still experience what it might be like to be an astronaut on NASA’s giant TV by being one of those sad Earthbound folk who sit in Mission Control and tap buttons. Better luck next time.

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Results for Do You Have What It Takes To Be An Astronaut?

You Would Be A Bad Astronaut
Unfortunately, you would not be a good astronaut. You can’t fly the shuttles or pilot the rockets, and bouncing on the moon is a flat-out no. Our advice: Quit the space business and look for another job.

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