1. 1. What’s your drink of choice?
    Look, just to be upfront about this, you’re not going to get Don Draper. Everyone who takes this quiz wants Draper, but it almost never happens. It’s nothing personal, but honestly there’s a very particular mix of interests and personality traits that goes into getting that kind of result, and you really shouldn’t get your hopes up.
  2. 2. What is your ideal Saturday night?

    All right, so you’ve decided to go ahead and take the rest of the quiz? That’s fine, really, but seriously—you’re not getting Draper. You can keep going if you want to, but you’re going to be disappointed.

  3. 3. Which vacation spot most appeals to you?

    Did you choose the most Don Draper-y vacation spot? Are you sure? What would that even be, exactly? You don’t really know, do you? It doesn’t even matter, anyway. Listen, we get it, Don Draper is the main guy, and you want to be the main guy. But just to reiterate, there’s absolutely no chance that you’re going to get Draper.

  4. 4. What do you most value in a significant other?

    By the way, if you think you’re going to get one of the other popular characters, like Roger or Joan, then guess again. You’re not getting them either. You should probably just quit this quiz now, because once you get to the end, you’re going to be let down.

  5. 5. What do you seek from your career?

    Look, just be honest with yourself. You’re not Don Draper. You’ve never been Don Draper. Deep down, you know it’s the truth. Somewhere in those dark corners of your mind, you’d rather not think about how you know you’re Ken Cosgrove, at best. And even then, you might get Harry Crane. Do you want to get Harry Crane?

    If you’re still lying to yourself, thinking maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance you’ll beat the odds and get Draper, then go ahead and check your results. This is your final warning, though: You’re not going to get Don. Just walk away now, man. You’ll be so much happier if you just walk away right now.

  • Results for Which ‘Mad Men’ Character Are You?

    Via AMC

    Pete Campbell

    You were warned, man. Well, here you go. Now you’re Pete. You’re Pete fucking Campbell. Every step along the way, you were told that you weren’t going to get Don Draper, but did you listen? No, you didn’t, and now you’re stuck with Pete Campbell. Jesus Christ. Well, it is how it is.
  • Results for Which ‘Mad Men’ Character Are You?

    Via AMC

    Don Draper

    Wait…how did you do that? You’re Don Draper? Really? Holy shit! This almost never happens. Good on you, buddy! You did it. You’re Don Draper. You work in an ad agency and you’re an alcoholic.

I am 18 or over and willing to view sexually explicit material