Are You A Good Roommate?

1. What do you call your roommate?

House Stranger

Room Twin

The Other Body

Shawn or something
2. Do you help to keep things tidy around the house?

Yes, I am always throwing away the dishes.

Yes, when the trash is full I take it across the street and bury it in the cemetery while weeping mournfully.

Yes, I am always washing the disgusting body of my terrible roommate.

No. I made a chore chart that is just my roommate’s name painted on the wall of our living room in maple syrup.
3. Which lullaby do you sing your roommate to sleep with?

“Sweet Dreams For The House Stranger”

“I Am Living With You But We Are Not Married And Now You Must Sleep”

“R.I.P. All Our Trash”

“Loud TV Sounds”
4. Do you respect your roommate’s privacy?

Yes, I have never once spoken to my roommate.

Yes, on multiple occasions I have locked my roommate’s room from the outside so that my roommate could have some privacy.

No, I have read my roommate’s autobiography, Very Bad Time: My Life As A Roommate, cover to cover multiple times.

No, I keep track of how many shits my roommate has taken and use my connections to get this steadily increasing number printed daily on the front page of the newspaper.
5. Have you ever eaten your roommate’s food even though it is clearly labeled “Mine”?

Yes, and I have replaced the label with a second label that says “Yours.”

Yes, but I always give it back later after I have chewed it all up.

Yes, but only because the House Stranger has done this with my food, and I must not appear weak to the House Stranger, the outsider who sleeps within my home.

No, but I am always leaving the door open so that criminals can come into our apartment and steal my roommate’s clearly labeled food.
6. Do you take good care of your roommate’s son when your roommate goes out of town?

Yes, I feed the son and show him the grave where I bury our trash.

Yes, I feed the son and kindly downplay the number of shits my roommate has taken.

No, I once forgot to feed the son, and he died.

No, I remembered to feed the son once, and he still died.
7. What did the last note your roommate left for you say?

“This is madness.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Terrible.”

“Every day, you make my life wonderful by living in the same place as me even though we are not married. This is what a roommate is, and I am satisfied. Continue to be the beautiful person that you are and never change. My son loves you and I do too. Love, Shane.”

Results for Are You A Good Roommate?

You Are A Good Roommate!
The good news is that you are a good roommate! You make life beautiful for the lucky other person who sleeps in your house even though you are not married. You always throw the dishes away and bury the trash in the cemetery when it’s full. What a nice roommate! The perfect roommate.

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You Are A Bad Roommate!
There’s some bad news about how you are at living with a person, and the news is that you are a bad roommate! Sorry! You sing your roommate to sleep with a terrible song, and you always leave the door open so that robbers can come in and steal your roommate’s clearly labeled food. What a nightmare it must be to live with you, the worst roommate in America.

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You Are A Good Roommate!

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Results for Are You A Good Roommate?

You Are A Bad Roommate!

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