1. 1. When an American flag is shown to you, what do you do?
  2. 2. How many of America’s many adversaries have you personally hunted down and murdered on live television?
  3. 3. Which of the following coins do you throw onto the White House lawn as a gesture of appreciation?
  4. 4. Do you have a special sticker on your driver’s license so that if you die they know to donate your body to the military so it can be fired at one of America’s many adversaries?
  5. 5. How often do you say the phrase “It’s a free country”?
  6. 6. How do you feel about how many adversaries America has?
  7. 7. When someone says the word “America” on live television, what do you do?
  8. 8. When you hear “The Star-Spangled Banner,” who do you imagine singing it?
  9. 9. True or False: The greatest chef in America is the president by default.
  10. 10. How do you wish to die?

  • Results for Are You A Good American?

    You Are A Good American

    Congratulations! You are a good American! When you pay your taxes, you send a blank check to the government along with a note that says “Good work with America!” Whenever you are writing a poem and need a synonym for the word “phenomenal” you use the word “congressman.” One day, when you are old and dying, the president will come to put you down and it will be the proudest moment of your life. Nice!

  • Results for Are You A Good American?

    You Are A Bad American

    Hate to break it to you, but you are a bad American. When the word “America” is said, you sigh and say, “Who cares.” You almost never vote, and when you do, you always vote for “No More Presidents.” One day, a true American will feed you to the insatiable vomit-hole that is Old Faithful, for truly you are one of America’s many adversaries! Shame on you!
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