How Well Do You Know These Famous American Folkta...

1. Please take a moment to read the popular American folktale “The Legend Of The Whispering Cobra”:

Listen. In the villages that dot the base of the Rocky Mountains, the old wives tell stories of a time long ago, back in the days when the only dream anyone ever had was of two skeletons holding hands and sprinting together off of a cliff. In those far-gone and near-forgotten days, the land was flat and the mountains were not yet born, and the rugged westbound pioneers lived a shadeless existence where the only shadows were their own. One day, a bald eagle appeared in the sky carrying a cobra in its talons. As the eagle carried the cobra through the sky, the cobra started whispering the words “Don’t even think about it” again and again. Each time the cobra whispered “Don’t even think about it,” one of the Rocky Mountains shot out of the ground. Finally, when all the Rocky Mountains had been born, the bald eagle dropped the cobra into the ocean, where it died.

What is the famous final portion of the folktale that this version is missing?

“And today, in honor of the brave cobra that made the Rockies possible, all members of the United States military must blow a kiss to every cobra they see.”

That’s right! The folktale ends with an explanation of how all soldiers in the United States military must salute every cobra they see. You could tell this folktale yourself if you wanted!

“And to commemorate that joyous day when the Rocky Mountains were born, a statue of the honorable Whispering Cobra was built in our nation’s capital, and today the statue of the cobra is known as the Washington Monument.”

Sorry, but that’s incorrect! The folktale actually ends with an explanation of why all soldiers in the United States military must salute every cobra they see.

“And that is why, to this day, when Colorado residents make love, they are required by law to yell out ‘A cobra made the mountains’ in unison at the moment of climax.”

Sorry, but that’s incorrect! The folktale actually ends with an explanation of why all soldiers in the United States military must salute every cobra they see.

“When this had come to pass, the bald eagle perched in a sycamore in a nearby frontier town. The rugged pioneers of the town stood at the base of the tree and applauded the eagle, and the eagle sat proudly in the branch, basking in the glory until an angel came down from heaven and ripped the eagle in half, which made the rugged pioneers cheer even louder.”

Sorry, but that’s incorrect! The folktale actually ends with an explanation of why all soldiers in the United States military must salute every cobra they see.
2. What is the moral of “The Tale Of Ben Dixon’s Scarecrow”?

Never throw rocks at a scarecrow, because that scarecrow might become the president one day.

Wrong! This is definitely true, but it is not the moral of “The Tale Of Ben Dixon’s Scarecrow.” The moral of “Ben Dixon’s Scarecrow” is that when a scarecrow demands that you show him a picture of Uncle Sam giving his nonverbal approval of getting swallowed by a cobra, you must give the scarecrow what he wants or he will loudly accuse you of witchcraft. In fact, these are the exact words that Ben Dixon screams out to the townspeople while they burn him at the stake at the end of the tale.

One man’s nephew is another man’s scarecrow.

Wrong! This is definitely true, but it is not the moral of “The Tale Of Ben Dixon’s Scarecrow.” The moral of “Ben Dixon’s Scarecrow” is that when a scarecrow demands that you show him a picture of Uncle Sam giving his nonverbal approval of getting swallowed by a cobra, you must give the scarecrow what he wants or he will loudly accuse you of witchcraft. In fact, these are the exact words that Ben Dixon screams out to the townspeople while they burn him at the stake at the end of the tale.

If a scarecrow tells you to show him a picture of Uncle Sam giving a thumbs-up as he gets swallowed by a cobra that has unhinged its jaw to devour him whole, you must give that scarecrow what he wants or he will get revenge by loudly accusing you of witchcraft.

Correct! This is the moral of “Ben Dixon’s Scarecrow,” and these words are, in fact, the very same words that Ben Dixon screams out to the townspeople while they burn him at the stake at the end of the tale.

Never put a crown on a scarecrow, or else the scarecrow will wake you up by shouting “I think I’m some sort of king!” in the middle of the night every night until you are dead.

Wrong! This is definitely true, but it is not the moral of “The Tale Of Ben Dixon’s Scarecrow.” The moral of “Ben Dixon’s Scarecrow” is that when a scarecrow demands that you show him a picture of Uncle Sam giving his nonverbal approval of getting swallowed by a cobra, you must give the scarecrow what he wants or he will loudly accuse you of witchcraft. In fact, these are the exact words that Ben Dixon screams out to the townspeople while they burn him at the stake at the end of the tale.
3. Which of the following is an accurate summary of “The Tale Of The Shadow In Washington”?

A newly elected U.S. senator is forced to resign after he discovers he casts a shadow in the shape of Benjamin Franklin’s silhouette saying in sign language, “Everyone must shoplift from GameStop the store. It is good to be Benjamin Franklin.”

Incorrect! While all of these are summaries of canonical American folktales, “The Tale Of The Shadow In Washington” refers to the story of the demolition of the Washington Monument.

The Washington Monument must be demolished because it casts a shadow in the shape of Uncle Sam gingerly cutting Karl Marx’s hair.

Correct! While all of these are summaries of canonical American folktales, only this one is the correct summary of “The Tale Of The Shadow In Washington.” Nice job!

SEAL Team Six is disbanded because when its members stand side by side, their shadows spell out the words “John Wilkes Booth.”

Incorrect! While all of these are summaries of canonical American folktales, “The Tale Of The Shadow In Washington” refers to the story of the demolition of the Washington Monument.

America’s defense program grinds to a halt after the U.S. government funnels its entire military budget into finding out why lifting weights in the shadow cast by the Capitol building makes people lose muscle and gain fat at an incredible rate.

Incorrect! While all of these are summaries of canonical American folktales, “The Tale Of The Shadow In Washington” refers to the story of the demolition of the Washington Monument.
4. Which of the following best describes the life of the American folk hero known as the Tarrytown Kid?

The Tarrytown Kid was a woman born in colonial America who was raised by spiders, and so possessed a superhuman talent for weaving. According to the tall tales, she created numerous super soldiers during the Revolutionary War by sewing dozens of American soldiers together to form monstrous multi-men who would use their twitching, hulking size to decimate the British redcoats before running into the Atlantic Ocean because they found death preferable to existing as a giant mass of writhing human bodies. She was awarded the first-ever Medal of Honor, which was immediately revoked after she shouted, “Now kiss!” at the end of George Washington’s presidential oath of office.

Sorry, that’s wrong. This is actually a description of the American folk hero Nina Van Tassel, also known as the Loom Lady of the Hudson. The Tarrytown Kid was a giant boy famous for hitting an enemy plane with the Stanley Cup during the attack on Pearl Harbor.

The Tarrytown Kid is the name the legends have given to a boy born on the banks of the Hudson River on the first day of the 1939 World’s Fair. The Tarrytown Kid possessed unusual strength and grew at an incredible speed. By the time he was just a year old, the Tarrytown Kid was twice as tall as his father and could throw two ambulances into the ocean at once. The Kid got his chance to really shine during the attack on Pearl Harbor, when he saved countless American lives by throwing the Stanley Cup into an enemy plane with such force that it sent the plane spiraling into the Pacific Ocean. This heroic act rocketed the Tarrytown Kid to national fame, but public opinion turned against him after a conniving industrial mogul had his engineers invent a catapult capable of launching the Stanley Cup much higher and farther than the Kid could throw it. Ultimately, the Tarrytown Kid died alone, forgotten and defeated by the merciless march of technological progress.

Yes! That right! That’s the Tarrytown Kid!

The Tarrytown Kid is the name of the most fabled fisherman to ever cast a net in the Hudson River. According to legend, the Tarrytown Kid was pulled from the waters of the Hudson in a fisherman’s net at the turn of the 19th century. The fisherman raised the child as his own son, and it soon became clear that the boy possessed an incredible gift for reeling in the bounty of the river. The Tarrytown Kid could pull in more fish in a single cast of his net than any other fisherman could catch in an entire day. Soon, he was not just pulling fish out of the river; according to the legends, he also caught whales, a sea serpent, and even a sunken Viking longboat loaded with ancient gold. The Tarrytown Kid became a celebrated national icon. Unfortunately, the Kid’s reputation was forever tarnished when he pulled in his net one day to find that he had dragged six identical bloated corpses out of the river that all had the same exact appearance and genetic makeup as beloved American founding father John Hancock. After that, nobody wanted much to do with the Tarrytown Kid, and he died in disgrace.

Sorry, that’s incorrect! This is actually a description of the American folk hero Bountiful Peter. The Tarrytown Kid was a giant boy famous for hitting an enemy plane with the Stanley Cup during the attack on Pearl Harbor.
5. According to canonical American folklore, what is the origin of the glamorous railroads that crisscross the nation?

According to “The Last Ballad Of Thomas Jefferson,” the railroads were built in accordance with Thomas Jefferson’s final words, which were: “And wherever the catapult flings my lifeless body, that is the place where you shall begin construction of a great railroad. My real name…all this time…was…Thomas Anderson…I’ve lied to you all…”

Nope! While these accounts of the railroad’s origin might contradict each other, all of them are considered part of the canon of American folklore! It is the coexistence of conflicting myths that truly explains America.

According to “The Tale Of The Western Monument,” when the rugged pioneers first made it all the way to the western edge of the continent and looked out over the Pacific Ocean, they commemorated the end of their journey by erecting a statue of George Washington bending down to shake hands with a baby. The base of the statue was engraved with the words “And Perhaps He Is Doing This In Hell.” The statue became a wildly popular tourist attraction, and the railroads were built to allow people from all over the United States to go see it.

Nope! While these accounts of the railroad’s origin might contradict each other, all of them are considered part of the canon of American folklore! It is the coexistence of conflicting myths that truly explains America.

According to “The Tale Of The Long Serpent,” the first railroads were formed when a mythically long cobra slithered from Grand Central Station in New York to the coast of the Pacific Ocean. When it arrived, it coughed up the body of beloved Founding Father John Adams and abruptly died. According to legend, John Adams then stood up, dusted himself off, whispered, “Taxation without representation is incredible,” and walked slowly into the Pacific Ocean until he disappeared beneath the waves, leaving behind the cobra’s carcass on the beach. The cobra’s body was so long that it spanned the length of the entire United States, and his bones became the great American railroad.

Nope! While these accounts of the railroad’s origin might contradict each other, all of them are considered part of the canon of American folklore! It is the coexistence of conflicting myths that truly explains America.

All of the above.

Correct! While these accounts of the railroad’s origin might contradict each other, all of them are considered part of the canon of American folklore! It is the coexistence of conflicting myths that truly explains America.

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America’s past is lost to you!
Sad news: The past of the nation is beyond your grasp. You know nothing of the myths and legends that could guide you back, and so you wander your country with no idea of where you are from. Traveling through the Rocky Mountains, you may mutter to yourself, “What on earth are these? I do not understand them and would pay any amount of money to drive them into the ocean,” and when cobras slither by, you blow them no kisses as you stumble obliviously down the path. Listen: The myths and legends have always been waiting for you. As we speak, the dwindling keepers of wild traditions are whispering the secrets of your origin to the creeping shadows of empty rooms as the sun apes the westward trajectory of the rugged pioneers in the darkening sky. Yet here you sit mired in a puzzling geography, content to pass on into the isolated future, lost in the unyielding mysteries of your strange homeland.

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You barely know a thing about America’s legends!
This is definitely not good news. You know very little about the myths and legends of America. As you drag yourself through your mysterious homeland, you cannot account for how things came to be, or which heroes came here before you to hurl the Stanley Cup into the sky. Perhaps there is hope. Perhaps in a moment of desperation, you may turn to the person standing next to you and say to them, “Please explain every single thing that exists in America,” and they will say to you, “Of course I will do that. It is never too late to learn where you come from.” Yet perhaps they too will be bewildered in the myth-starved passages of their homeland. In which case your history is lost to you, and you to your history, forever.

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You know the myths and legends of America pretty well!
Not bad! You have a pretty good working knowledge of American folktales! As you walk across your homeland, you decipher most of the riddles embedded in the landscape and you nod to yourself, and you pick up the phone and call the police and tell them simply, “I understand it,” before hanging up. And there might come a time when you are rocketing across the country on one of the nation’s great railroads, and a small boy will come up to you and ask, “Where was this velocity born?” and you will tell him all the tales there are of the birth of the great railroads, and the small boy will become bright with understanding, and you and the boy will trace your origins back together in a shared line of descent as the train speeds on, and you will rush toward the future ahead of you from a firm point of origin in the past that comes before you, and you will rest easy knowing that your journey forms a circuit that can traverse the whole of the continent.

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You know everything about the myths and legends of America!
Amazing! You know your American folktales perfectly! When you look out over the landscape of the nation, it is as if you are looking at your own reflection, and the constellations of storied landmarks connect to form a geographic hieroglyphic of your name. There is no riddle of your past that you cannot solve. And as you drive down the old trails blazed by the rugged pioneers, you honk your novelty horn, which is a recording of your own voice shouting, “I know where everything comes from!” And when truck drivers hear your horn, they blow their horn right back at you, and it’s a novelty horn of their voice shouting, “Amazing! Your past must be no mystery to you at all!” And you smile at the truck drivers and nod, and the truck drivers wink at you, and above you the stars spell out answers to the nation’s riddles, and if you connect them in certain ways you can form the image of a cobra hanging in the sky.

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America’s past is lost to you!

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You barely know a thing about America’s legends!

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You know the myths and legends of America pretty well!

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You know everything about the myths and legends of America!

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