Stealing the rival school’s mascot and replacing it with the equivalent amount of ground meat

Turning off gravity in the gym

Putting a whoopee cushion on teacher’s chair that sounds like a deep-voiced man saying “I’m sorry” when you sit on it

Referring to teacher as “Ken Griffey Jr.” until he’s convinced that’s his name

Kidnapping the rival school’s goose and feeding it to your school’s goose

Swapping out the graduating seniors’ diplomas for pictures of a skeleton giving a thumbs-down

Loosening the caps on all the salt shakers in the chemistry lab

Casting an eldritch ritual to warp the laws of physics and make all of the school’s geometry textbooks obsolete

Replacing all of the students’ photos in the yearbook with pictures of their most similar-looking cousins

Arriving at school three hours early and cleaning all of the hallways

Convincing everyone in your school to invest in your securities firm by promising them incredible returns; then compensating old clients with the money provided by new investors rather than actual profits, thus allowing the system to perpetuate indefinitely in a pyramid-like process as long as you ensure a steady stream of new investors

Removing all the books from the shelves of the library and using them to start a community literacy program

Setting all the wall calendars back 100 years

Killing the dean and throwing his body in the swamp

Going to school on a Saturday and acting as though it’s a regular school day