Can You Identify These Breakfast Items By Their D... | ClickHole

1. If you order an “Oklahoma pug slinger, up the chimney and painted ruby, extra slick with ornery Wesley,” what will your waitress bring you?

Sausage and hash browns with extra onions and peppers

No siree! The correct answer was well-done rye toast with butter and jam.

English muffin and a cup of coffee

No siree! The correct answer was well-done rye toast with butter and jam.

Well-done rye toast with butter and jam

You got it! Nothing makes rye toast sing quite like a big ol’ gob of ornery Wesley.

Southwestern omelet with extra cheese

No siree! The correct answer was well-done rye toast with butter and jam.
2. How about a “stack of hobo wallets, hold the skeleton”?

French toast, no powdered sugar

Wrong-o, buckaroo. The answer was boneless pancakes. Better commit this one to memory—otherwise next time you’re at a diner you’ll be spending the whole meal picking sharp little bones out of your flapjacks.

Boneless pancakes

Bingo.

Banana chocolate chip pancakes, but the pancakes are swapped out with manila folders

Wrong-o, buckaroo. The answer was boneless pancakes. Better commit this one to memory—otherwise next time you’re at a diner you’ll be spending the whole meal picking sharp little bones out of your flapjacks.

16 omelets

Wrong-o, buckaroo. The answer was boneless pancakes. Better commit this one to memory—otherwise next time you’re at a diner you’ll be spending the whole meal picking sharp little bones out of your flapjacks.
3. Do you know what a “grinning Charlie, soft on the fuzzies, served hot and earnest” is?

A tall cup of black coffee and a side of grits

Hoo boy, swing and a miss. When someone says they’ve got a hankering for a “grinning Charlie,” that means they want eggs, bacon, and sausage arranged in a distrustful smiley face.

An eternal succession of biscuits but only a quart of gravy

Hoo boy, swing and a miss. When someone says they’ve got a hankering for a “grinning Charlie,” that means they want eggs, bacon, and sausage arranged in a distrustful smiley face.

Eggs, bacon, and sausage links arranged into a smiley face that at first looks sincere, but on second glance you notice its eyes are avoiding your gaze as if they’re hiding a dark secret

Bullseye.

Brutal three-foot mound of Golden Grahams

Hoo boy, swing and a miss. When someone says they’ve got a hankering for a “grinning Charlie,” that means they want eggs, bacon, and sausage arranged in a distrustful smiley face.
4. Can you name everything that goes into a “chicks on a raft served Mogwai style, with Zeppelins up the alley, triple grizz”?

Blueberry pancakes served on the back of an indifferent tortoise

You’re not exactly the quickest spatula on the line, are you? The right answer was extra creamer.

An oven mitt fried to a crisp and drenched in syrup

You’re not exactly the quickest spatula on the line, are you? The right answer was extra creamer.

Eggs on toast that turn you into a monster if you eat them after midnight, served with sausage links with three times the gristle

You’re not exactly the quickest spatula on the line, are you? The right answer was extra creamer.

Extra creamer

Yep, you got it. Any man worth his weight in mud pie knows that this is the only acceptable way to order extra creamer.
5. And lastly, how about a “yapping bear trap, extra stinky, perched on a bed of sweepings”?

T-bone steak and eggs, extra onions, served on hash browns

You kidding me? The correct answer was a huge clam disguised in an omelet served on top of oatmeal. That’s Diner-Speak 101, cowboy.

T-bone steak and eggs, extra onions, served on hash browns, plus a pine cone

You kidding me? The correct answer was a huge clam disguised in an omelet served on top of oatmeal. That’s Diner-Speak 101, cowboy.

T-bone steak and eggs, extra onions, served on hash browns, plus a pine cone, blessed by a Jesuit

You kidding me? The correct answer was a huge clam disguised in an omelet served on top of oatmeal. That’s Diner-Speak 101, cowboy.

A huge clam that’s constantly opening and closing its mouth but is disguised in an omelet so that the omelet looks like it’s talking, served on a pile of boiling hot oatmeal

You betcha. Nothin’ tastier than a yappin’ bear trap served stinky.

Results for Can You Identify These Breakfast Items By Their Diner Slang?

You’re A Real Greenhorn!
Have you ever even been to a diner? You got a lot of learnin’ to do, kid. Come back and take this quiz again when you know the difference between a “heart attack on a rack” and a “sizzlin’ Seymour.”

Share Your Results
Results for Can You Identify These Breakfast Items By Their Diner Slang?

You’ve Eaten Your Share Of Diner Grub
Not bad. You’ve definitely been to a hole in the wall or two in your time, but diner-speak is a language, and you’ve still got a lot to learn before you can talk fluently with the kitchen. But keep practicing, and you’ll be beefing in sloptown in no time.

Share Your Results
Results for Can You Identify These Breakfast Items By Their Diner Slang?

You’ve Earned Your Place At The Counter
You’ve got everything and the works, kid. You’ve chowed down at every pit stop from Tallahassee to Tacoma, and you’re well aware that ordering a “moaning groundhog with a jag lip” in Wichita is the same as a “cryin’ Steve Harvey” in Winnemucca. Impressive—you deserve a heaping slice of horsie chuff.

Share Your Results