How Many Of These Common Fears Haunt You Constantly? | ClickHole

1. Check off each of the common fears that keeps you awake at night:

Having a tape measure retract really fast in your hand

Accidentally popping your pancreas on a turnstile

Winking at a hottie on the street and your eye falling out embarrassingly

Getting trapped in a giant clam while pearl diving

Finding out the whole world is a computer simulation and a virtual spider is in your simulated house

Accidentally making a sandwich that’s just three slices of bread

Giving up a grand slam to John Wayne Gacy Jr.

Butt-dialing a terrorist suspect and getting put on a watchlist

Having your skateboard collection roll out of a poorly secured hatchback

Reaching your hand into a hole and inside the hole is a little man who stabs you with a knife

Accidentally writing the name Fun District on your child’s birth certificate

Being killed by Neil Young, who then writes a song about it and it goes to the top of the charts

Drinking even one tea that doesn’t soothe you

Being on the Titanic during puberty and they don’t know whether to save you with the other children or have you drown with the other men

Getting all green M&M’s in a bag and there isn’t even a contest going

Having to hold a live fish and it’s going batshit trying to get away

Going bird-watching and catching your parents having sex in one of the trees

Being asked to reprise your role on Person Of Interest

Watching the guy in the Mickey Mouse costume at Disney World take his head off and seeing a smaller Mickey Mouse head underneath

Getting buried alive in the same coffin as a man who keeps turning to you and saying, “Dark enough for ya?!”

Results for How Many Of These Common Fears Haunt You Constantly?

You Are A True Slave To Fear!
Unbelievable! You’re a true slave to fear! Fear owns you! You are constantly scared of everything. You regularly fear things like hitting the piñata and hearing it scream, getting a real half dollar and then losing it, and having a terrible accident that leaves you with only middle fingers. Amazing!

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Results for How Many Of These Common Fears Haunt You Constantly?

You Are An Average Victim Of Fear
Looks like you’re an average victim of fear! Sure, you constantly fear flipping over a DQ Blizzard and having it all fall out on the floor, but you probably aren’t regularly haunted by the fear of looking through a skyscraper observation deck’s telescope at the ground and seeing yourself waving up at you. Keep thinking of new fears and try this quiz again!

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Results for How Many Of These Common Fears Haunt You Constantly?

You Are Practically A Stranger To Fear
Ouch! Looks like you are practically a stranger to fear. In fact, you barely know fear at all. You aren’t regularly haunted by the fear of slipping in a puddle and then having to live there forever because of an obscure law from the 19th century, and you don’t lie awake night after night thinking about your fear of having a thousand children and letting each and every one of them down. Maybe consider being haunted by a lot more fears and try this quiz again!

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