Are You An Astronomy Nerd? | ClickHole

1. How often does the Earth flip upside down and shake until all the impure people fall off?

Once every year

Wrong! The correct answer is C. Known as the Great Shake, this planetary movement occurs once every hundred years, cleansing the Earth of liars, murderers, and onanists. Make sure you have a telescope handy the next time this spectacular cosmic event rolls around (approx. 2019), because it’s quite a sight to behold!

Twice every year

Wrong! The correct answer is C. Known as the Great Shake, this planetary movement occurs once every hundred years, cleansing the Earth of liars, murderers, and onanists. Make sure you have a telescope handy the next time this spectacular cosmic event rolls around (approx. 2019), because it’s quite a sight to behold!

Once every hundred years

Correct! Known as the Great Shake, this planetary movement occurs once every hundred years, cleansing the Earth of liars, murderers, and onanists. Make sure you have a telescope handy the next time this spectacular cosmic event rolls around (approx. 2019), because it’s quite a sight to behold!

This happens every day

Wrong! The correct answer is C. Known as the Great Shake, this planetary movement occurs once every hundred years, cleansing the Earth of liars, murderers, and onanists. Make sure you have a telescope handy the next time this spectacular cosmic event rolls around (approx. 2019), because it’s quite a sight to behold!
2. How do the planets refer to themselves?

Doctor

Wrong! All the planets refer to themselves as Jerome. Nice try!

Officer

Wrong! All the planets refer to themselves as Jerome. Nice try!

Professor

Wrong! All the planets refer to themselves as Jerome. Nice try!

Jerome

Correct! All the planets refer to themselves as Jerome. You really know your stuff!
3. Where is the moon going?

Mars

Wrong! No one knows where the moon is going, but astronomers hope it gets there soon, as it is almost certainly late.

Venus

Wrong! No one knows where the moon is going, but astronomers hope it gets there soon, as it is almost certainly late.

Moon Island

Wrong! No one knows where the moon is going, but astronomers hope it gets there soon, as it is almost certainly late.

No one knows where the moon is going

Correct! No one knows where the moon is going, but astronomers hope it gets there soon, as it is almost certainly late.
4. How many planets has the sun swallowed?

2

Correct! The sun has only swallowed two planets, Jupiter and Saturn. Lucky for us, it didn’t like them and spit them out!

5

Wrong! The sun has only swallowed two planets, Jupiter and Saturn. Lucky for us, it didn’t like them and spit them out!

7

Wrong! The sun has only swallowed two planets, Jupiter and Saturn. Lucky for us, it didn’t like them and spit them out!

Just Mars

Wrong! The sun has swallowed two planets, Jupiter and Saturn. Lucky for us, it didn’t like them and spit them out!
5. What is it called when Earth gets so close to Mars that, in certain parts of the world, you can press your hands up against Mars and your feet against Earth and hold yourself between the two planets?

A planetary eclipse

Wrong! This cosmic phenomenon is called a normal Tuesday. It sometimes takes as many as 200 people pushing off of Mars in order to set Earth back on its course.

A French sunset

Wrong! This cosmic phenomenon is called a normal Tuesday. It sometimes takes as many as 200 people pushing off of Mars in order to set Earth back on its course.

A freaky Friday

Wrong! This cosmic phenomenon is called a normal Tuesday. It sometimes takes as many as 200 people pushing off of Mars in order to set Earth back on its course.

A normal Tuesday

Correct! This cosmic phenomenon is called a normal Tuesday. It sometimes takes as many as 200 people pushing off of Mars in order to set Earth back on its course.
6. How supermassive are supermassive stars?

Extremely massive

Wrong! Supermassive stars are so, so massive, it doesn’t even make any sense. Seriously, it’s totally nuts how fucking huge they are. Like, it’s literally dumb.

Super-mega ultra freaking massive

Wrong! Supermassive stars are so, so massive, it doesn’t even make any sense. Seriously, it’s totally nuts how fucking huge they are. Like, it’s literally dumb.

Like, so massive, it’s crazy

Correct! Supermassive stars are so, so massive, it doesn’t even make any sense. Seriously, it’s totally nuts how fucking huge they are. Like, it’s literally dumb.

Big

Wrong! Supermassive stars are so, so massive, it doesn’t even make any sense. Seriously, it’s totally nuts how fucking huge they are. Like, it’s literally dumb.
7. True or False: Space has hips.

True

Correct! Space has very wide, shapely hips.

False

Wrong! Space has very wide, shapely hips.
8. Where is the best place to observe Kreel’s comet?

On the surface of Kreel’s comet

Wrong! Most astronomers agree that the ideal place to catch a glimpse of this beautiful comet is on the shoulders of Kreel himself. He’s so tall and strong!

On top of Kreel’s shoulders

Correct! Most astronomers agree that the ideal place to catch a glimpse of this beautiful comet is on the shoulders of Kreel himself. He’s so tall and strong!

From Kreel’s attic, but only after Kreel has left the room since he always gets so embarrassed whenever people look at his comet

Wrong! Most astronomers agree that the ideal place to catch a glimpse of this beautiful comet is on the shoulders of Kreel himself. He’s so tall and strong!

Through Kreel’s own eyes

Wrong! Most astronomers agree that the ideal place to catch a glimpse of this beautiful comet is on the shoulders of Kreel himself. He’s so tall and strong!
9. What’s at the bottom of a black hole?

A bigger hole

Wrong! Using an unmanned space probe, NASA scientists this year were able to glimpse the decomposing deer at the bottom of a black hole for the first time. They said it looked like it had been hit by a car and that it made them sad to look at it.

Galactic mud

Wrong! Using an unmanned space probe, NASA scientists this year were able to glimpse the decomposing deer at the bottom of a black hole for the first time. They said it looked like it had been hit by a car and that it made them sad to look at it.

Froth

Wrong! Using an unmanned space probe, NASA scientists this year were able to glimpse the decomposing deer at the bottom of a black hole for the first time. They said it looked like it had been hit by a car and that it made them sad to look at it.

A decomposing deer

Correct! Using an unmanned space probe, NASA scientists this year were able to observe the decomposing deer at the bottom of a black hole for the first time. They said it looked like it had been hit by a car and that it made them sad to look at it.

Results for Are You An Astronomy Nerd?

You Don’t Know Anything About Astronomy!
Yikes! Looks like you know next to nothing about space. Try reading up on whether or not it’s rude for a planet to spit on another planet and other aspects of celestial etiquette before taking this quiz again. You’ve got some studying to do!

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Results for Are You An Astronomy Nerd?

Via Reticular.net

You’re An Astronomy Novice!
You know the basics, like how the strings that hold up the planets are made of fishing line, not twine, but you’re a little rusty on the particulars, like how a group of six stars or more is technically called a Beautiful Mind. Keep studying the stars, and one day you might become a real starfucker.

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Results for Are You An Astronomy Nerd?

Youtube via Scientist

You’re An Astronomy Nerd!
Wow! You know everything about astronomy! You know that Jupiter is balding! You know that Venus is an homage to Mercury! You know that the Milky Way contains billions of stars and that each of them is weeping! You know why they’re weeping! You know each of these things and many more, because you are an astronomy nerd at heart and a true master of the universe! Awesome!

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