Okay, we’ll just see about that. You think you’re the type of guy who can push through NYC traffic? That you’re the type of guy who can drive something yellow? Well, then, if you’re so confident, let’s see you identify this.

Huh, seems like you do have what it takes...for now. If you want to make it here, you’re going to have to drive the biggest customers and earn the hottest money. So, what’s your first move?

“Hello, I need to get in your car so I can rob you,” says a pedestrian, flagging you down.

What do you do?

“Great, thanks,” he says, climbing into your car. “I was wondering if I could rob you.”

“Thank you for letting me rob you,” he says. “It’s New York, baby! Here’s a pack of assorted trail mix for your trouble.”

So, you’ve decided to go on a murder spree. Would you like to murder this with your car?

Great! How about this? Would you like to murder this with your car by driving fast at it and not stopping until it is dead?

How about this? More murder for you? Or do you feel like you’ve murdered enough for one day?

Looks like you want to keep murdering as a taxi cab driver in NYC. Does this look like an appealing thing to slam with your car?

Great, your first customers are already on the street.

“Help, we want to go fast but we don’t want to walk,” says the woman, flailing her arms in the air. “Is there any way we can do that?”

“Hi, thanks, we’re in from out of town and don’t know what to do,” they say, climbing into your cab. “You seem foreign, but in a way that makes you seem knowledgeable. Can you show us around?”

Do you have what it takes to give these people the best tour of NYC they’ll ever get?

“All right, time for the tour. Here’s our first stop, the beautiful Empire State Building,” you say as they applaud in the backseat. “The Empire State Building was built in 1944, and 125,000 cars drive over it each and every day!”

“And here we are at our next stop, Yankee Stadium,” you say as the family peers out the window. “I used to bring my son here all the time and make him sing ‘Take Me Out To The Ball Game.’”

“Stop number three: Broadway,” you say, pointing out the window. “I hope you have a loaf of bread ready, because these guys go absolutely nuts for it.”

“And see that, right across the river?” you say. “That’s New York’s best-kept secret. It’s my favorite hot dog stand in the whole city.”

“Wow, that was incredible. We are officially uprooting our lives and moving to the city,” they say. “You can drop us off right here, into the Hudson River.”

“Here we have the famous Statue of Liberty, the tallest green woman in the world,” you say. “This is where I live. I live in that crown.”

You have them in the palm of your hand.

“Hello, I am Pablo,” says Pablo, your Statue of Liberty guy. “I will walk them to the top of her head so they can stare out of her large green eyes. I call this Liberty Vision™. I love you so much.”

“The Statue of Liberty was built in 1500 and was originally a present from someone who spoke French,” you say, pointing up. “If you look closely, you can see she stands over 300,000 feet tall.”

“There are four very tall stairs in the Statue of Liberty,” you say. “In fact, every immigrant that came to New York City before 1900 came through here, and was forced to walk up them until they reached the crown.”

“Thank you so much,” they say. “It’s time for us to start a new life as New York City immigrants. Here’s 40 yen for your troubles.”

You did it! You gave this family the best day they’ve ever had. What will you do next?

“Hello, I’m single and arguably too beautiful to be taking a train,” says a woman on the street, waving her arms. “Can anyone help me?”

What should you do?

“Thanks! I’m young and female and looking to go to the airport,” she says, climbing in your cab. “You seem foreign, but in a way that scares me. Can you take me to JFK?”

Do you have what it takes to drive this woman to her flight without freaking her out? Great! What’s your first move?

“Wow, you are very beautiful,” you say. “I like having you in my car, and you are more beautiful than the State of Liberty.”

She is quiet.

“I’m flattered,” she says, without speaking again. “Mhm.”

“Thank you,” she says quietly.

You pull up to a stoplight in Midtown. She starts to reach for the door.

“Really, you are so beautiful that they should put you on the no-fly list. They should never let you on a plane, and they should never let you apply for a pilot’s license either,” you say. “If I were your boyfriend, I’d never let you out of my sight and into the skies.”

“Oh, this is fine, I’ll just walk to JFK,” she says, getting out. “Here is a loose mint I just found in my purse for all your troubles.”

You did it! You said the word “beautiful” to this woman many times and she did not call the cops. What will you do next?

“Help, I’m pregnant and too lazy to walk to the hospital,” says a woman on the street, flagging you down.

What do you do?

“Thanks so much for the ride,” says the pregnant woman, climbing into your car. “I’m not in labor yet, but I will be soon. Would you mind driving around for three more months until I am?”

“Great, thanks. What an amazing few months it’s been,” she says. “Now that the seasons have changed, I feel like my contractions are about five to 10 minutes apart. Can we go to the hospital now?”

Do you have what it takes to get this woman to a doctor safely?

Traffic is terrible.

“Hurry up,” she says. “The baby seems to love the noise of cars and is trying to get out and see them.”

You honk your horn.

“He’s honking the pregnancy horn,” yells the driver directly in front of you, sticking her head out of the window. “Hey, that taxi has a pregnant woman inside. Everybody scatter!”

“Gross, she’s giving birth,” they all say, parting ways. “The human body is disgusting. Get her away from your car and into the hospital.”

“Help, I’m a registered nurse and I want to deliver a baby right now,” says a woman on the street, flagging you down.

“Do you have anything in this cab that I can use to birth this baby?” asks the nurse.

“Perfect,” she says. “The baby is born.”

“Thank you so much for the ride,” she says. “Here’s a tamale for your troubles.”

Well, you’ve had a long day, and there’s only time for one more customer. Can you handle this last ride?

“Before you run me over, I wanted to let you know that I am the CEO and founder of Uber,” he says. “I can give you a credit to become either a driver or a rider—my treat!”

Great! You pull over and he gets in!

“Do you remember the old New York?” he asks. “I loved it. I miss it.”

Do you have what it takes to hold a decent conversation with this man?

“I love and miss it too,” he adds.

“That’s absolutely true,” he says. “Say! Do you remember the old New York? I loved it. I miss it.”

“I love and miss it too,” he says.

“Thanks for all your help,” he says. “For all your hard work, here’s a voucher to join Uber.”

You...you ran over a pregnant lady. Huh. Okay. You get the chance to go back and try again, but Jesus, maybe don’t.

Don’t you dare quit now—you have one more customer to go!